Grim Child
by GoddessofMadness
Summary: Shadow Lupin-Black returns for his fifth year at Hogwarts. But with the Ministry refusing to believe Voldemort is back, he will need his friends and family more than ever. 3rd of the Child Series.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter One

Shadow was not enjoying his summer vacation yet, even though they were now living in one of Sirius' old properties, known as Grimmauld Place, which was completely gutted of anything dark before they moved in. It was also the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. No one could blame him for not enjoying summer, not really. Not after what happened at the Triwizard Tournament. He knew it was his fault that Cedric was killed, and that Voldemort was back. Even though his Mama, Dad, and Severus kept trying to tell him it wasn't his fault, he knew it was. It was already July and he had yet to go see his friends or fly out on a broom with his dad, he just didn't feel like doing much of anything. He could hardly sleep anymore; in fact, he avoided any room that was dark. If the light was off in his bedroom when he finally decided to try to go to sleep, he stood staring into his dark room for several minutes before all but running back down the hall and curling up on the couch with his head on either Remus' or Sirius' lap. Severus was also there, as a house guest, to help him if he needed it.

If he finally did get to fall asleep, he was plagued by nightmares that would not go away, no matter how many times he would wake up from them; they would just start up again from where they left off once he fell back asleep. The nightmares weren't even the worst part at this point…the worst part had to be…the…the bedwetting. Shadow had never, in his life, been a bed wetter and now, it happened every time he fell asleep, granted, that meant it wasn't often, but it still happens!

Oh, and his parents and Severus knew about the bedwetting. How could they not? One of them went into his bedroom to see how he was every single morning. Shadow had taken to drinking large amounts of coffee and tea and eating large amounts of sugar, just in the hopes that he would stay awake so he wouldn't have a nightmare and wouldn't wet the bed. However, once Remus discovered this, he hid the coffee and the tea and, much to Sirius' dismay, threw out anything with high amounts of sugar in it.

Shadow actually threw a fit after he couldn't find the caffeine and sugar he had become so dependent on. He vaguely remembered stomping his foot and screaming at Remus to give it back. This resulted in a hard swat on his backside by Remus and Sirius placing him in a corner for a timeout stating "If you're going to act like a five year old, then I'll treat you like a five year old."

That corner was actually where he was standing right now, a scowl on his face and his arms crossed. He had tried to move from the corner, stating he was almost fifteen. That did not end well for him as Sirius grabbed him by his arm, turned him around, gave his backside two swats and led him back to the corner. Sirius now stood directly behind him, making sure he stayed put for the whole fifteen minutes.

After what seemed like an eternity to Shadow, Sirius turned him around and told him the fifteen minutes were up. Shadow glared at Sirius' hand that was resting on his shoulder, shrugged it off, stomped off to his room, and slammed the door shut behind him.

Remus came out of the kitchen after he heard the door slam. "What was the bang?" He asked once he made sure Shadow wasn't in the room so he could drink his coffee. Since Shadow hardly slept now, he was always in the living room, making it so Remus couldn't have any coffee or tea and the lack of caffeine was giving him a serious headache.

Sirius stared down the hallway and sighed. "Shadow slammed his bedroom door shut." He turned to face his husband. "Remus, this is getting ridiculous. I understand he went through a lot but his attitude has gotten out of control."

Remus bit his lip and stirred his coffee before taking a drink. "He…We just need to give him a little more time. He's processing a lot of emotions and—"

"No, he's _repressing_ a lot of emotions, Remus." Sirius cut his husband off. "We tried things your way, Remus, and he hasn't gotten any better. I know you don't want to admit this, but Shadow needs psychological help!"

"My baby isn't crazy!" Remus yelled at Sirius, dropping his coffee onto the floor as he clenched both hands into fists. The mug fell to the floor with a crash.

"I never said Shadow was crazy!" Sirius yelled back, flinging his hands into the air. "He went through something very traumatic! He needs help that we can't give him, Remus!"

"No!" Remus shouted stubbornly. "I can fix this!"

Sirius pulled at his hair. "This isn't like the time he tripped and hit his head on the coffee table, Remus! Kisses on the forehead and you singing to him aren't going to make it any better! He watched someone get _murdered_!"

"Are you two quite finished?" Severus came up from their basement, wiping his hands on his potion's apron.

"Severus, help me! You _know_ Shadow needs help, right?" Sirius looked imploringly at the Slytherin. He never thought in his entire life he'd get along with the man, but he found that he could be amusing if he wanted to be. The two had become friends, faster than Severus and Remus had, which was understandable considering their history.

Severus didn't say anything for a while; just made sure his hands had no potion residue on them. Finally he looked up and looked at both Sirius and Remus. "Yes, I do."

Sirius looked triumphant whereas Remus looked ready to kill him. "I'm not taking Shadow to see a shrink!" Remus raged, pacing back and forth like a caged animal. "They won't understand him! Most people will be prejudice against him because he's a werewolf! Not to mention all of the lies the Ministry is spreading about him and Dumbledore through the Daily Prophet. No, I'm not putting my baby through that."

Sirius sighed and shook his head. Ever since Shadow got back from school, Remus had begun babying him more than usual. Sirius knew Shadow didn't care that he was babied, but it wasn't what Shadow needed right now. He needed someone to listen to him, not drop everything at his beck and call, which is what Remus did. Sirius didn't know what to do. He wanted to do what was right by his son, but he had no idea how. "We could take him to a Muggle psychologist?" He finally suggested.

Remus glared at him. "Right, then he'll be judged because he's gay and so are his parents. It wouldn't go over well, Sirius. No. No shrinks. No doctors. No healers." He crossed his arms stubbornly, as if that ended the matter.

Severus decided to speak up at this time. "I have a master degree in psychology." The other two stared at him dumbfounded. "I got it while getting my masters in potions. I have already diagnosed Shadow. He is obviously suffering from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. He has several re-experiencing symptoms, the nightmares and it's also affecting him physically."

"The bedwetting," Sirius asked.

Severus nodded. "Not the most common physical symptom, but it does happen. He also has all of the avoidance symptoms." Severus raised his hand and began to count the symptoms on his fingers. "He refuses to talk about what's happened, he refused to say goodbye to Fleur or Krum at the end of term, meaning he doesn't want to be reminded of the tournament, his new found fear of the dark, he won't go flying or do anything that used to amuse or entertain him, and he hasn't written Ron or Hermione all summer. Those are the five avoidance symptoms."

Remus had begun to shake his head while Severus was talking. He didn't want to believe this. "Not to mention," Severus continued. "Hyper-arousal symptoms; he gets angry very easily now, and if I remember correctly, he is usually like Remus who never gets angry, and he has problems sleeping now, as well."

Sirius had been listening with rapt attention. "What about treatment, Severus?"

Severus walked over to a window and stared outside for a moment or two. "There are four I could suggest to you, but it would depend on Shadow's willingness to get my help." He turned back to face the other two. "Would you like to hear the treatments?" Sirius nodded eagerly, Remus did as well, though with some reluctance. "Well, there's Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy. In a nut shell, I gradually get Shadow to talk with me about what happened, help him identify his upsetting thoughts that are highly distorted or irrational and through that I help him see the truth in what happened and give him the real picture instead of what he sees in his mind." He paused. "I don't recommend this method as I am not as close to Shadow as you two and he would not be willing to open up to me." Remus looked like he was about to say something, but Severus interrupted him. "You can't do it yourself, Remus, before you ask. It's all about asking the right questions to get him to think about the right things, say one wrong thing and the result might end up in him getting worse." Remus gulped and nodded.

"The other methods?" Sirius asked, placing a comforting hand on Remus' hip.

"Family therapy, we would all sit down and Shadow would tell us how he's feeling and you two tell him how his behavior has been affecting you. I do recommend this one. Another is anti-depressant medication, however this one is out, because most of this medication does not work on werewolves and I've yet to perfect one that does. There's also EMDR—"

Remus held up his hand. "No need to continue." He turned to look at Sirius and Severus watched as the two communicated with just their eyes. He looked away. He knew he wasn't over Remus but he also knew he had blown any chance, even if Remus wasn't married, the man would not have taken him back, not after what he had said. "Severus?" his head snapped up when he heard Remus call him. "I think we've decided on family therapy and the first one you said. We want a combination of treatment…is that possible?" Severus nodded and his heart clenched painfully when Remus smiled.

"Shall I start today, then?" Severus looked away from Remus when he said this.

Remus and Sirius both paused. "Perhaps tomorrow afternoon…" Sirius said, scratching the back of his neck.

Severus nodded in understanding. Tonight was the full moon, Shadow just could've been acting this way because he was irritable due to the full moon…although Severus doubted that, and he could tell, by the look on his face, that Sirius did as well.

**A/N: So? How was the first chapter of Grim Child? I had several votes for this title and it fits the best. I was originally going to do something along the lines of Prophecy Child, but I thought Grim Child worked better. Oh, and I just want you all to know that…there will be at least three more "Child" installments. Alright, let me know what you all thought of it. Drop a review! :)**

**Luv,**

**PGF**


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter Two

That night, in the cellar of Grimmauld Place, stood a grim, a black panther, and two werewolves, one black, one a sandy brown color. Severus had finally mastered his animagus form with the assistance of Sirius and found that he was a large, and intimidating, panther. At Sirius' insistence, Severus decided to call his animagus Ebenus, which meant ebony in Latin.

Padfoot and Moony were sitting calmly in one corner of the cellar; Ebenus was lying in the center of the floor lazily; Shadowpaw sat blinking, not doing much of anything.

"_When will I need to make two batches of potion, Moony?_" Ebenus asked, stretching his back as he sat up.

Moony cocked his head to the side; Remus was in full control of the werewolf at this point. "_You'll need to make two batches starting the next full moon, Ebenus. Shadowpaw won't be a 'newborn' then."_

The panther nodded his head and yawned. "_This isn't as exciting as I thought it would be, Padfoot._"

Padfoot let out a bark of laughter. "_You should've seen us in our prime, Ebenus! We tormented so many centaurs and acromantulas during our Hogwarts days! We can't be as rambunctious as we used to be because Moony and I have to watch out for Shadowpaw._"

Ebenus nodded and looked at the werewolf cub. He was definitely larger than when Severus had seen him at Christmas but that cub had seemed rather active. This new Shadowpaw was almost catatonic. It was very unnerving.

Ebenus' heart ached for the cub. He knew that there were just some parts of your past that you couldn't run away from. It would appear that he wasn't safe from the traumatic experience, even in a completely different form.

Shadowpaw stared off directly in front of him, not really seeing anything. He didn't know what was wrong, but he hurt. It wasn't a physical pain…it was something deeper and, as a werewolf, he couldn't process it. Although it would appear that his human side wasn't attempting to process whatever this new pain was either. He knew that there was someone new with him and his parents. A panther. He knew, somehow, that this panther was important to him, though he couldn't remember why, that was a part of his human side, which was something Shadowpaw didn't pay much attention to.

He started whimpering in spite of himself and saw Moony stand up and his tail started wagging. Moony would make everything better. He growled in his throat though when he saw Padfoot stand up and block Moony's path to him. He then watched as Moony hesitated a little bit before nodding and sitting back down where he had been before.

Shadowpaw finally stood up and advanced on Padfoot, growling low in his throat. Padfoot looked surprised and stepped back when Shadowpaw snapped his fangs at him. Shadowpaw knew that Padfoot was Beta to Moony's Alpha; he also knew he had more of a right to be Beta as he was Moony's cub. It didn't matter that Padfoot was still larger than he was, nor did it matter that Padfoot was stronger, it didn't even matter that Padfoot was his father. Shadowpaw wanted his place in the pack, and he was going to take it by force.

Shadowpaw lunged at Sirius, fangs bared. Sirius was able to side step him and tackle him to the ground, but Shadowpaw refused to stay pinned. Once Shadowpaw was on his feet again, Padfoot and Shadowpaw began to circle one another.

Shadowpaw lunged across the circle at Padfoot and went for his throat, he didn't intend to kill, just to pin him and assert his dominance. He didn't account for the fact that Padfoot was faster than him, as well as stronger. Padfoot quickly sidestepped him and before Shadowpaw could even register what was going on, he was on his back, beneath Padfoot who was growling deep in his throat. "_You need to settle down, right now, young man. Do you understand me?_" Shadowpaw whimpered and bared his neck to his father, clearly submitting to his father's strength and authority.

Padfoot got off of Shadowpaw and pulled the cub up to his feet by the scruff of the neck. "_Are you calm now, Shadowpaw?_"

Shadowpaw nodded his head and nuzzled his face into Padfoot's neck. Padfoot sighed happily. Shadowpaw was acting normal again. Maybe Shadow _was_ acting the way he did earlier because of the full moon. _That has to be the reason_; Padfoot thought as Shadowpaw started tugging at his ears and began to play with him.

The next day, Shadow was sitting in the living room staring off listlessly at nothing. The three adults that were present sighed. Shadow went from random bouts of anger to this deep depression. Remus couldn't deny it anymore, Shadow needed Severus' help. Remus nodded at Severus and Sirius helped him out of the room. Severus would be speaking alone with Shadow until next week when it would be family therapy.

"Shadow," Severus said as he stepped further into the living room. The boy looked at him with dull blue eyes. "Do you mind if I sat and talked with you?" Shadow stared at him and shook his head before turning back to stare at nothing. Severus sighed and thought about where to begin. He couldn't just come out and ask about what he was feeling; that would just close Shadow off even further. He'd have to start with a question that wouldn't seem to be related to the tournament. And Severus knew just what to ask. "You saw a boggart's true form?" Shadow turned to him and nodded. "What did it look like?"

Severus could see Shadow hesitate. But then, "It was…odd. It looked like a big gray…You know, it's hard to describe. Is there a penseive here? I could just show you."

Severus paused. "No, I don't think there is a penseive here. However, there is another way for me to see it. I could look into your mind. All you have to do is think about the memory of the boggart and I'll be able to see it. Do you trust me?" At Shadows nod, Severus took out his wand. "Think of the boggart memory." Shadow nodded again to signal he was. "Alright, _legilimens_!"

_Severus stood in the maze and saw Shadow screaming and cringing away from a large man with a belt, who was gripping Shadow's arm. Severus rushed forward to help, but he remembered that this was not happening. It was only Shadow's memory. _

_ Severus watched as Shadow stopped screaming and sent the fat man flying away from him with a spell. He also watched as the fat man dissolved into a puddle of gray goo with black eyes. Shadow would be famous for this discovery. But that's not what was concerning Severus at this point. _

Severus pulled out of Shadow's mind and stared at him. "That is the most non-terrifying thing I have ever seen." Severus was happy to see his joke crack a slight smile from the almost fifteen year old. Severus paused before he posed his next question. "Shadow, who was the man the boggart had turned into?"

Shadow's back stiffened. He didn't want to answer Severus. But, he knew that if he didn't answer, Severus would only pry further. He wasn't stupid. He knew what Severus was doing. He had heard the three yesterday after he had gone into his room. He knew Severus was a psychologist. He wasn't against getting help, because he knew he needed it, but that didn't mean he wanted to talk about what happened at the…during the last school year. Nor did he want to talk about his childhood.

However, Shadow sighed. He wanted to have a good relationship with his parents, all of them. And throwing fits the way he had been was not the way to go about it. So, he said, as quietly as he could, "My uncle."

Shadow prayed to Merlin Severus didn't hear him. Hell, Shadow could barely hear himself when he said it, even with his heightened sense of hearing. "Your uncle," Severus asked, dashing Shadows prayers.

"Well, he's not my real uncle. He's Aunt Lily's sister's husband. But I thought he was my uncle when I thought I was Harry Potter." Shadow explained, hoping that he wasn't babbling like he tended to when he was uncomfortable.

Shadow watched Severus shift his weight where he sat and Shadow stiffened once again, knowing he wasn't going to like whatever Severus asked next. "Shadow…did Vernon Dursley ever beat you?"

Shadow pulled his legs up and hugged himself. He didn't like this. He hated this topic. He had always been able to hide the marks well after they happened. None of them scarred to his relief. But he didn't want to talk about this. He didn't know what this had to do with last year, but he didn't like it. He berated himself for not just thinking of the boggart in its true form. But when he started thinking about the boggart, he had remembered the boggart turning into his uncle. Shadow looked up and saw Severus staring at him with the utmost patience and sympathy in his eyes. Shadow cocked his head. He knew the difference between sympathy and pity. Had Severus been abused as a child as well? This thought made what Shadow said next easier. "No," he averted his gaze. Honestly, he was testing Severus. If Severus had been abused, he would know the signs of someone lying about it. If he hadn't been abused, he would take Shadow's words to heart. "He only threatened to."

Shadow risked a glance at Severus and saw that his eyes had hardened slightly. He fought back the smile that threatened to appear, he had been right. "You're lying to me, Shadow. I don't appreciate lying. Tell me the truth. I promise, whatever you say, will stay between us."

Shadow did smirk this time. "Severus, I know what you're doing. I know you have a degree in psychology. I'm not stupid. I know that you'll be obligated, by your profession, to tell Mama and Dad, and the Aurors as well." Severus looked shocked that he had figured it out. "You guys weren't very quiet yesterday." Shadow said with another smirk. He sighed. "I want your help, so I'll answer you honestly. He beat me, yes. Often times it was with a belt. He sometimes threw things at me. I remember once he slapped me across the face so hard, I flew sideways and cracked my head against the wall, leaving a dent. I got the belt for that, too." Severus looked even more shocked than he did before. "It was only physical and occasionally mental and emotional abuse, from my uncle only. Dudley would bully me, but I believe it was because of the example set by Vernon. Petunia never laid a hand on me she would yell at me, sure, but never touched me. Vernon only beat me when Petunia was away, so I don't think she knew about it." Shadow finished finally. He was proud of himself. He hadn't cried, he was only shaking slightly.

Severus blinked several times before shaking himself. "I'm impressed by you, Shadow. Not only can you speak of this so calmly, but you've overcome it and became a kind, loving, and forgiving young man. You are Remus' child." He shook his head in wonder. "Perhaps you aren't as like me as I originally thought."

Shadow straightened up and set his feet back on the ground. He stared at the man who fathered him intently. "I am like you, Severus. I'm strong like you. You lived through abuse, too, Severus. I can tell."

Severus reeled back in shock before schooling his features again. "Yes, well…I think that's enough for today." Severus went to stand up.

"Severus!" Shadow called him back. Severus turned to look at him with a cocked eyebrow and a slight smile. "Earlier…when you looked at my memory. What was that?"

"That was known as legilimency. There is a way to stop someone from entering your mind. It's called occlumency. It closes your mind off to prevent intruders and block off bad memories."

Shadow peered at him from under his long, black eyelashes. "If I were trained in occlumency, could it block…nightmares?"

Severus stared at Shadow. "I had never thought of this before," he murmured. "Shadow, not only will you be talking to me once a week, but we will use occlumency as a therapy tool as well." The two smiled at each other.

"Thanks, Severus." Shadow stood up, brushed off his jeans and walked towards the kitchen where he knew Sirius and Remus were. "I think I'll go ask Dad if he wants to go for a fly."

**A/N: Alright, I meant to put this one up yesterday, but I was at a funeral. I'd rather not get into it. I have one request for you all, please head to my profile and vote on what you want Shadow's patronus to be. Please, I won't be able to complete Chapter Three without this poll having a decent number of votes, and so far only three people have voted. Review, if you want. **

**PGF**


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter Three

Shadow walked out of the grocery store and onto the sidewalk, bags swinging from his hands as he walked. Right after his first talk with Severus, he had felt better, but it slowly went away into more depression. Severus eventually explained to him that it was common for people with PTSD to feel fine one day and ready to explode the next. He still had nightmares and wet the bed. Shadow wasn't really looking for a fast fix, but he hated feeling this way. It was like he was just a passenger in his own body and he couldn't stop it when his temper got out of control or he fell into depression. Severus hadn't started occlumency lessons yet, but he promised they would start during school. Shadow remembered how Severus told him that, now that Voldemort was back, and he was a spy for the Order, he and Shadow had to act like nothing had changed between the two, in public, at least.

Shadow sighed at this knowledge and pulled his jacket tighter around him. It was mid-July and here he was, wearing a coat because of how cold it was. He shook his head. He wasn't stupid; he knew bad things were about to happen.

He stopped when he heard something that chilled him to his very bone. He turned around and dropped the bags, causing the contents to spill out. Shadow backed up and reached behind him into his back pocket for his wand as the Dementors closed in on him. He knew the spell to repel them, Mama had taught him during the rest of his third year, but he had never been able to conjure a full patronus before. He lifted his wand and began to think of the happiest memory he could. _I have a family, my parents are alive. I live with them. I'm loved!_ He straightened his shoulders, pointed his wand at the Dementors and yelled, "_Expecto patronum_!"

Shadow cried out in shock when a large, silver wolf sprang forth from his wand and howled. It then ran towards the first Dementor then came around and hit the second one from behind. As the two cloaked beasts fled, the wolf came trotting up to Shadow and sat on its haunches, panting slightly. Shadow lifted his hand and just as he was about to touch the wolf's head, it disappeared in a shower of silver sparkles.

Shadow ran the two blocks back to his house, leaving the groceries abandoned on the sidewalk behind him. He made it up the steps and burst through the front door. Once there, he flew into the first adult arms he could find. Those arms happened to be Sirius'.

Shadow was sobbing hysterically into his father's chest while Sirius just held him, shocked about this random behavior. Through Shadow's sobs he had been able to pick up two words clearly; Dementors and patronus.

Sirius led Shadow into the living room and sat down with his son in his lap. He gently carded his hand through Shadow's long, dark hair and rubbed his back soothingly until the teenager calmed down. "Do you think you can try to calmly tell me what happened now, Shadow-boy?"

Shadow hiccupped and nodded. "I-I was walking home from getting the groceries and I was almost home when it got cold. _Really_ cold. And I didn't think anything of it, so I just kept walking. It wasn't until I was two blocks away that I felt the real chill of the dementors. I-I turned around and they were right above me. I did the first thing I could think of and I conjured up a patronus." Shadow took a deep, shaky breath before he looked into Sirius' gray eyes. "It's a wolf, Daddy." He smiled slightly. "My patronus is a wolf."

Sirius beamed at his son. "Rem! Get in here!" It took all of thirty seconds for Remus to come bounding up from the kitchen.

"What?" Remus spun around, looking to see if the house was being attacked. Then he saw how shaky Shadow looked and rushed to the boy's side. "Cub, are you okay? What is it? What's wrong?" Remus hugged the boy to him and began rocking him.

"Mama!" Shadow's voice was muffled by Remus' shoulder. "Mama, I'm fine. Get off! I can't breathe!" Remus let go of Shadow slightly but was still hugging him.

"If you're okay, then what is it?"

Sirius beamed at Shadow. "How about it? Do you think you can do it again?" Shadow nodded and stepped out of Remus' arms. Just as he raised his wand, there was a tapping at the window. The occupants of the room turned and saw an owl. Sirius went to the window and opened it. The owl flew in, dropped the letter at Shadow's feet and flew out again.

Shadow bent down and picked up the letter with a trembling hand. His heart shot to his throat when he saw the Ministry of Magic seal. He hadn't seen a letter like this since…his second year. He swallowed hard and opened the letter. It read: "Dear Mr. Lupin-Black,

We have received intelligence that you performed the Patronus Charm at twenty-three minutes past nine this evening in a Muggle-inhabited area.

The severity of this breach of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand.

As you have already received an official warning for a previous offense under section 13 of the International Confederation of Wizards' Statute of Secrecy, we regret to inform you that your presence is required at a disciplinary hearing at the Ministry of Magic at 9 A.M. on August 12th.

Hoping you are well,

Yours sincerely,

Mafalda Hopkirk

Improper Use of Magic Office

Ministry of Magic."

Shadow could hear nothing but his blood rushing in his ears. He flopped onto the couch and watched as the letter fluttered out of his hands. He watched as Remus picked it up and as Sirius came up to read the letter over his shoulder.

Shock was clearly written all over their faces. But before either of them could react, the fireplace lit emerald green and out stepped Albus Dumbledore.

He walked directly to Sirius and Remus, avoiding any eye contact with Shadow. Shadow's sense of hearing began to return to him as he heard Dumbledore say, "He is not expelled. However he will have to attend the hearing. It took every pull I had in the ministry, but I will make sure he won't be expelled. Good evening."

All were stunned as Dumbledore swept out of the building as quickly as he came in. Remus sat down next to Shadow and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "A patronus charm, huh?" His lips quirked into a smile. "What did it look like?"

Shadow glanced up at his parents and didn't see any disappointment. If anything, he saw fury at the injustice the ministry had just dealt him. Smiling slightly Shadow turned to Remus and murmured softly. "You. Well, it reminded me of you. It was a wolf."

**A/N: Okay, I ended up going with a wolf. That and Tiger I believe had the most votes, so I had to break the tie myself and just went with wolf. I'm sorry, I know this is long overdue, but I've been overstressed lately and it's finally spring break, so I might have some spare time to write. Also, I got several comments about how Shadow wasn't acting like a PTSD patient anymore. According to my psychology professor, people deal with it in different ways on any given day, think of it like depression, you aren't depressed ALL the time, necessarily, some days you feel fine, others you don't. Alright, so review if you all want, I'd appreciate it if you did, however since the Imperius Curse is illegal, I can't force you to. **

**Luv, **

**PGF**


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter Four

Remus flushed the toilet as he stood with a groan. He was never letting Sirius cook again. This was the fourth morning in a row where he had to come pay his respects to the porcelain god and quite frankly he was…Remus stopped on his way out of the bathroom. "No…" he whispered softly, placing a hand on his stomach. "I can't be…not now."

Remus removed his wand from his denims pocket and pointed it at his flat abdomen. "_Graviditate revelo_." He held his breath as the white light at the tip of his wand flashed for a few seconds before changing a bright shade of blue. Positive. "Shit!" Remus hissed.

It's not that Remus didn't want another kid; he knew Sirius would be ecstatic when Remus told him. The only problem was he wasn't sure how Shadow was going to take it, especially after last year. Remus sighed. The three had talked about it before, and Shadow had seemed excited with the prospect of being a big brother. This was just the worst possible time for him to get pregnant, not to mention the worst day for him to find out. It was his Cub's fifteenth birthday today, and the guests would be arriving at Grimmauld Place at around noon.

He started when he heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Mama? You alright?" Shadow opened the door. "You've been in here for a long time." Shadow's eyebrows knitted together in worry.

Remus felt a horrible sense of guilt wash over him. His Cub was in pain and here he was worrying him even more. Shadow was getting better, he reminded himself, but the process was so slow that if Severus hadn't told him, Remus would think that Shadow wasn't getting better at all. The fact that Shadow had begun to cling to him and Sirius more than ever was proof enough to the boy's shattered emotional state.

Remus smiled warmly at his son and stood up from where he had been perched on the edge of the tub. He walked up and hugged his son gently, afraid that he would break if he held him too tight. He however pulled back in shock when Remus was able to rest his chin on Shadow's shoulder without having to bend over. _When did that happen?_ He thought, terrified. "Someone's hit a growth spurt," Remus remarked, fighting the urge to bite his lip.

Shadow beamed at him and pulled away. "Yeah, Dad measured. I'm 5'5" now. I'm only an inch shorter than you. It looks like you were right. I might pass you in height after all! I won't be a runt anymore."

Remus smiled but it felt so fake he was scared Shadow would notice. _His voice is deeper now, too. I don't want him to be so grown up…I want my baby…I don't want him to not need me anymore._ Remus felt his lower lip start to tremble and he bit the inside of it. Shadow did notice this, unfortunately. "Mama, why are about to cry?"

Remus pulled him close again, burrowing his face in his son's shoulder. "You're so grown up, Cub. Soon you won't be my Little One anymore. I'll be little compared to you."

Shadow felt an odd sense of role reversal as he held Remus as he cried. He tightened his hold and started rocking his Mama. He carded a hand through Remus' sandy blond hair that was filled with gray streaks. "Mama," Shadow swallowed audibly, his voice thick with unshed tears. "I don't care how grown up I am. I'm always going to be your Cub, Little One, Shadow-boy, and any other nickname you come up with for me."

Remus laughed at that and pulled away, wiping his face on the sleeve of his sweater. "When'd you get so smart, huh, Shadow-boy?"

Shadow smiled. "Well, my Dad says I get it from my Mama. I tend to agree." Remus smiled softly and tucked some of Shadow's long black hair behind his ear. "I love you, Mama."

"I love you, too, Shadow." He hugged his son one more time before patting him on the shoulder. Shadow turned to walk out of the bathroom but Remus stopped him. "Shadow…do you remember a few months back when you, your Dad, and I talked about the possibility of another baby?" Shadow nodded. "Do you still want to be a big brother, Shadow-boy?"

"Yeah! I know I'm going to be a lot older than my younger sibling but…Mama?" Shadow paused and stared at Remus intently. "Are you…pregnant?"

"I am," Remus said softly. "But you need to promise me you won't tell your Dad. Understand?" Shadow nodded, smiling wide.

"Mama, you just gave me the best birthday present ever." Shadow left the bathroom then. And Remus knew that this was the happiest Shadow's been in a long time.

The entire Order, plus the Weasley children and Hermione, were all gathered around the dining room table later that day. While Remus, Sirius, Severus, and Mrs. Weasley all tried to keep the conversation light, due to it being Shadow's birthday, the conversation slowly slipped toward Voldemort.

"We think," said Sirius. "That Voldemort is trying to build up his army. But he's not just interested in gathering followers. Voldemort may be after something."

"Sirius!" Growled Moody.

Sirius barely paid him any mind and continued with his conversation with Shadow. "Something he didn't have last time."

"What do you mean? Like a…a weapon?" Shadow leaned forward against the table, closer to Sirius, hanging on his every word.

Before Sirius could reply, however: "That's enough! He's just a boy!" Molly rushed up and hugged Shadow to her, as if to protect him from Sirius' words. "If you tell him any more you might as well induct him into the Order straight away!"

"Good!" Shadow said boldly from Mrs. Weasley's arms. "If Voldemort is building an army, I want to fight!"

Sirius smiled and clapped his hands. "That settles it. Someone call Dumbledore so we can induct him."

Remus stood up. He didn't mind if his son knew what was going on in the Order, he pretty much _needed_ to know as he was the Boy-Who-Lived, but to induct him into this dangerous society at barely fifteen was out of the question. "No, Sirius. I agree with Molly, he's too young to join."

Shadow bolted to his feet. "But, Mama!"

"No buts, Shadow Remus." Remus was hardly ever stern with Shadow, but the fifteen year old seemed to get the point and sat back down with a sour look on his face.

"Remus, you're being ridiculous. If the boy wants to join let him. I'm not calling for him to be on the front lines…yet. He's a capable duelist, a few weeks or months of hands on training with Tonks or even you will surely put him beyond even some Aurors!" Sirius' face was alight with excitement.

"You don't seem to be hearing me, Sirius. He's fifteen!" Remus was fighting to remain calm and not let his wolfish nature come through. It was hard, for Moony felt as if his cub was threatened, and threatening a cub was one of the worst things one could do.

Sirius scoffed. "I think _you've_ forgotten that _we_ joined this very organization at fifteen! Dumbledore didn't put us in the front lines, he had us be trained by some of the top members so we could defend ourselves more efficiently once we were of age and could be out on the front lines."

"He's not you, Sirius!" Remus was gripping the underside of the table tightly in his hands.

"I know who he is, Remus. He's the son of two Marauders, the nephew of another, and his birth father is a Slytherin! He's going to find a way to join one way or another and I think I'd like it a lot more if we _knew_ about it, instead of finding out that he did it behind our backs."

Remus shook his head. "I'm not going to let him sacrifice himself like this."

"Remus, that's not your decision, he's almost an adult!" Sirius sighed exasperatedly.

"He's not one yet." Remus' voice dropped until it was barely above a whisper and it was eerily calm; his eyes flashed a bright amber. "And until he is, _I_ decide what's best for my cub."

The two husbands glared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. The awkward silence of the room was broken by Severus clearing his throat. "I think we should drop such dismal topics and get back to the importance of the day. Shadow, happy birthday." Severus handed him a large wrapped present.

Severus stared at it for a moment before tearing into the paper. "Wow…" Shadow breathed and gently touched the leather book cover. "Shakespeare's complete works?" Shadow was an avid reader, as long as the books weren't assigned readings for a class, and was a huge fan of the deceased playwright. "Thank you, Severus." The teenager beamed up at the usually dour Potions Master, causing the man to smile back. After that, aside from the occasional glare between Sirius and Remus, the rest of the party went off without a hitch.

After the dinner, Shadow decided to show Ron and Hermione around the house, while Ginny and the twins played exploding snap in the living room. The adults could be heard having a very heated argument in the dining room, and it sounded as though the subject was about Shadow joining the Order. Shadow showed his two friends the entire house, leaving his room for last. They entered and the three of them sprawled themselves on Shadow's queen size bed.

"Shadow?" Hermione asked from her place on Ron's chest.

"Yeah, Hermione?" Shadow asked through a large yawn.

"How have you been? Since…you know." Hermione sat up and bit her lip.

Shadow stiffened but tried his best to look nonchalant. "What do you mean?"

"Mate, you know what she means," Ron sat up. "You watched Cedric," Ron either didn't notice Shadow's flinch or chose to ignore it, "get murdered and Tony ended up being a Death Eater whose only order was to get close to you so he could hand you over to You-Know-Who in the end…I know you really cared about him. That's bound mess anyone up. We've been worried about you, mate. You haven't answered any of our letters."

"I've been busy," Shadow muttered as he stood from his bed and began pacing around the room.

"You still haven't told us how you're doing." Hermione said softly.

"Never better!" Shadow beamed at the two of them, but he knew that they didn't believe him. He didn't even believe himself, but he was _not_ going to talk about last year. No, he had his family therapy session today. He was fine. He didn't need to think about last year unless it was during a therapy session. That was the deal he made with his parents and Severus. Outside of therapy sessions, they didn't ask about it, and he didn't have to talk about it unless he wanted to. And right now, he didn't want to.

"Why won't you talk to us?" Hermione had tears in her eyes and was staring at Shadow imploringly.

"I am talking to you." Shadow tried to laugh but it sounded like he was choking.

"Shadow, we just want to help you." Ron said, holding Hermione's hand tightly in his own, his own eyes looking slightly misty as well.

"Well, nothing's wrong, so I don't need help." Shadow was slowly inching toward his bedroom door, ready to bolt downstairs and near adults as fast as he could.

"Quit lying to us, Shadow!" Ron finally bellowed. "You can't go through something like that and _not_ talk about it! We're trying to help you because we're your friends! So just talk about it already!"

Right when Shadow reached the door, he heard the lock click and knew that either Ron or Hermione had locked them in magically. Shadow cursed silently, until the result of his hearing, he was not allowed to have his wand; it was in Remus' or Sirius' possession. He spun around and faced his friends, shaking like a trapped animal. "Let me out." He tried to sound commanding, as if they didn't have an option, instead it came out in a small whimper.

"You're not going anywhere until you talk to us, Shadow." Ron crossed his arms over his chest, while Hermione just nodded in agreement, lower lip trembling and tears sliding freely down her cheeks.

"I don't have to talk to you." Shadow was internally beating himself up for sounding so weak.

"You bloody well do!" Ron snapped. "We're your friends. Friends tell each other when something's wrong."

"No…" Shadow kept whimpering. "I don't have to talk if I don't want to…" Shadow was now shaking his head back and forth and his breathing had sped up.

"Ron," Hermione shook her boyfriend's arm. "We need to let him out. He's about to have a panic attack."

Ron shook his head. "No he's not. He's faking. Ginny does this all the time when she's in trouble and it never works for her. It's not going to work for him."

"No, Ron—!"

"MAMA!" Shadow finally screamed at the top of his lungs, sobbing hysterically and hyperventilating. It wasn't long before several sets of feet could be heard on the stairs and rushing to Shadow's bedroom door.

"Okay…" Ron said, swallowing guiltily. "Maybe you were right about the panic attack…."

They heard the lock click open and the door slamming against the wall and stared guiltily as Remus, Sirius, Severus, and the entire Order stood in the doorway, Remus at the head of the group. The lycan strode over the threshold and placed one hand on Shadow's stomach and one on his back as he slowly eased the two of them to the ground to sit. "Shadow, listen to my voice." Remus spoke softly and calmly. "Inhale slowly through your nose…" Shadow took in a shaky inhale and held it. "Very good, Shadow-boy. Now slowly exhale through your mouth." Shadow did so. This action was repeated through Remus' coaching Shadow until the teenager's breathing pattern returned to normal.

"Remus, take Shadow downstairs for a cup of tea." Sirius' voice was deadly calm and it was at that moment that the other two Gryffindors remembered that this man was one of the top Aurors at the Ministry. "Severus and I will deal with these two."

The other Order members stepped out of the way as Remus led a still shaking and sobbing Shadow out of the room and down the stairs. The rest of the Order followed slowly, not even looking back when they heard Severus close the door with a slight slam.

**A/N: HOLY SEVEN PAGE DOCUMENT! Hi, everyone. Sorry, I know this is kinda late, but I've had the most HECTIC time these past couple of weeks. It's better now. Just so you know, I'm still typing this thing as I update, so far there are a total of six chapters complete. I will work on the seventh one if I find time tomorrow. You know what you should all do? You all should flood my inbox with Review Alerts because they really brighten my day, and I'll need my day brightened tomorrow because I have two exams and a paper due! So, pretty please make my day better? Alrighty, review! :)**

**Luv,**

**PGF**


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter Five

Downstairs, Remus made Shadow a cup of tea and slowly calmed him down. Once he was sure that Shadow wouldn't have another break down, he left him with the Twins and Ginny and went upstairs to also have a talk with Ron and Hermione.

As Remus climbed the stairs and made his way closer to Shadow's room, he could hear Sirius shouting; "— irresponsible! Do you have _any _idea what your little stunt could have done? It could've thrown any progress Shadow's made right out the window! What were you two thinking?"

Remus opened the door, slipped inside, then closed it softly behind him. He took in the scene. Sirius was screaming at Ron and Hermione, who were both sitting on the bed, and Severus was leaning against the wall looking very menacing.

"We're sorry!" Hermione sobbed. "We had no idea he would react that way!"

"We just wanted to help him, he's our best friend!" Ron sounded very close to tears.

"Shadow's been having nightmares and problems since he's returned from break," Severus said coldly, causing the two Gryffindors to flinch. "He went through something very traumatic. Tell me, if either of you saw what he did, would you be willing to tell your friends about it?"

Hermione looked surprised before shaking her head, crying even harder. Ron was now sobbing loudly and tears flowed freely down his face.

"Severus, Sirius." Remus finally said, his parental instincts kicking in. "That's enough. They didn't know. You both got your points across let them leave."

Both Sirius and Severus stared at him as though he had grown an extra head that was singing La Cucaracha. "Remus, are you mad? Did you not see what they did to Shadow?"

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius' question. "You can't just let them walk out of this without punishment, Remus." Severus stated calmly.

"I don't intend to. While Hermione stays with the Weasleys it is up to Molly and Arthur how they punish her and Ron is their son. It wouldn't be right if we punished them. Besides, I can see how sorry they are. And, quite frankly, I don't want Shadow's birthday being ruined any more than it already has been." Remus glared at his husband and Severus, making sure that they understood quite clearly to let the two children in the room leave.

Severus nodded and opened the door for Ron and Hermione, who ran out as fast as they could.

"We still should've done something worse than a slap on the wrist," Sirius muttered angrily.

"Molly can handle it." Remus told him, stepping into the taller man's arms. "I think I know something that can cheer you up." Remus smiled and rubbed his cheek against Sirius'.

"Oh, yeah?" Sirius asked amusedly.

"Mm-hmm." Remus beamed up at his husband. "I'm pregnant!"

The two jumped when they heard a thud from behind them and stared at Severus, who was out cold on the ground near the door. Sirius laughed at the former Slytherin and turned his attention back to Remus. "Really?"

"Yeah. Do you think he'll be okay when he wakes up?" Remus asked, concerned if Severus would have a concussion. He had hit his head pretty hard on the wooden floor.

"Who cares?" Sirius picked Remus up and spun him around as he kissed him on the mouth. "We're having another baby!" Sirius placed a hand gently on Remus' still flat stomach. "How far along?"

"I'm not sure yet, I have to see Poppy sometime next week." Remus smiled and covered Sirius' hand with his own.

"You were right," Sirius whispered into Remus' ear and nuzzling his face, "that did cheer me up."

**A/N: Short, two page chapter. Hope y'all liked it! Interesting fact, the "Child" series was originally intended as a single de-aging story. I originally didn't plan on changing Harry's name at all and Sirius and Severus would be de-aged as well, Harry being de-aged to around a month old and Sirius and Severus de-aged to around three. Eventually, once I got the idea for the current Werewolf Child, that idea was scrapped and TA-DA! Here we are. I just thought you'd all like to know that. Also! I'm taking votes on the new baby! Should it be just one? Should it be twins? Boy? Girl? Both? Tell me what you think in a review. NOTE: I will NOT be taking name suggestions. Whatever name I decide on, no matter the gender/number of the new baby/babies, you all will just have to like it? Okie dokie? Good! That's it for now. TTFN! :)**

**Luv,**

**PGF**


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter Six

"Your father and I will be in the courtroom." Remus told Shadow as he smoothed down the teen's sport coat. Shadow just nodded and followed Kingsley through a door. He noticed that the entire Wigengamont was present and that there was one chair facing the stony faced witches and wizards. He slowly crept toward it and sat down.

What followed could be briefly described as hell. Minister Fudge would hardly listen to what Shadow had to say. However, a surprise witness, Mrs. Figg, Shadow's old neighbor when he lived with the Dursley's had been near Grimmauld place at the time of the attack and had seen what had happened. Shadow had been cleared of all charges.

However, just as he was standing up and about to run to his parents, he heard: "Hem-hem." Shadow turned and saw a woman with mousy brown hair and a toad-like face smirking at him from her seat near Fudge. "Minister, I'm sorry, but could you repeat the boy's name?"

"The boy's name is Shadow Remus Lupin-Black. What has that got to do with anything, Dolores?" Fudge looked very annoyed.

She ignored Fudge and turned to Shadow instead. "Is Remus Lupin your biological father?"

Shadow furrowed his brow. "No, he's my Mama."

There were several gasps throughout the room and over half of the Wizengamont scooted their seats away from Shadow. "When you say 'Mama'," the woman called Dolores continued. "Does that mean to say, he was the one who was pregnant with you?"

Shadow fought back his urge to roll his eyes at the woman. Intolerance for idiotic questions was something he inherited from both Remus and Severus. "Isn't that the definition of a mother?"

Dolores grinned evilly. "You are over fourteen years of age?" Shadow nodded. "And, have you transformed into a werewolf during any full moon?"

"Stop!" Remus' voice cracked through the silent courtroom like a gun-shot. "This was a hearing concerning whether or not my son would be expelled! Not about his possible lycan status!" Remus wrung his hands frantically.

The Minister waved his hand in Remus' direction as if dismissing his comment. "Answer Under Secretary Umbridge's question, Mr. Lupin-Black."

Shadow raised his head high and looked Umbridge straight in the eye. "Yes."

More gasps and shrieks of fear were heard as people scrambled even further away from Shadow.

Umbridge's grin grew even wider. "I see. So, I assume you've been tagged?"

Shadow blinked. Tagged? Before he could open his mouth, however, "The law states that a werewolf, whether bitten or born, does not need to be tagged until they come of age!" Sirius stood up and stared at Madam Bones, who was one of the few people who did not run in fear. "You passed that law, Madam Bones. You even went as far as to not even force them to be tagged. Please tell me you'll enforce it now!"

Madam Bones stared at Sirius with sympathetic eyes before smiling at him then turning her smile to Shadow. "Auror Black is right! Shadow Lupin-Black is only fifteen years old and does not require the mandatory—however stupid that may be—tagging as of age werewolves." Both the Minister and Umbridge glared at Madam Bones before adjourning the court.

Shadow rushed over to Remus and Sirius who quickly led him out of the courtroom and back up to the fireplaces to Floo home. Once there, both adults were pacing the floor; one in concern, the other in anger.

"What's a tag?" Shadow finally asked. Remus inhaled sharply and curled up his lip in disdain, fists clenching and unclenching as he fought the urge to punch something. Sirius was too lost in thought to have heard Shadow's question and continued to pace the floor with a furrowed brow, muttering to himself occasionally.

"A tag," Remus snarled, teeth baring slightly. "Is…it's this." Remus unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt and pulled down the left shoulder, revealing the top part of his chest and the tag. Shadow gasped at the intricate tattoo and stepped forward to take a closer look. The tag was a tattoo of a full moon with claw marks ripping through it, blood oozing from the claw marks, and what looked like a fang tattooed in the center of it all. The most miraculous thing though, it was no bigger than the size of a galleon. "The moon is obvious," Remus said as he pulled his shirt back up and began to button it again. "The claw marks are because, we desecrate the beauty and wonder that is the full moon, and the blood because we crave it and cannot stop our animalistic instincts."

"But none of that's true!" Shadow said, outraged.

"I know," Remus scoffed, angry at the world, not Shadow. "But they won't exactly listen to us 'dangerous monsters', now will they?"

"What about the fang?" Shadow asked softly.

"It classifies you; bitten or born. Yours will be different. So will your sibling's." Remus paused here and placed a hand on his slightly swollen stomach. He was three months along, now, as he had been two months when he found out. _Two seems to be my lucky number_, he thought, remembering that that was also when he discovered he was pregnant with Shadow. "Instead of a fang in the center, you will have an eye. Ironically, the eye will be the same color as your wolf's eyes."

"Why an eye?"

"Well, they very well couldn't tattoo a penis or lady bits in the center, now could they?" Sirius chimed in finally, causing Shadow to turn beat red and Remus to glare.

"Is this one big joke to you? Do you know how many Muggles have commented on my tag, thinking it was a tattoo, asking where I had gotten it done and asking if they cared if they copied it? Do you know how many times I've been asked by a store manager to see my tag if they suspected I was a werewolf?" Remus stepped very close to Sirius and paused when the stood toe to toe. He paused. "You do know though…" he said softly. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I hate the tag topic. I wish it had been abolished, I'm sorry, Puppy." He glanced up at Sirius and saw that the other man was smirking. "Don't you dare blame this on the hormones or I swear you'll be sleeping on the couch until this baby is born and most likely until it's a year old." That wiped Sirius smirk clean off his face.

Shadow chuckled at his parents before excusing himself to finish some homework he had to do. He got up to his room and sat on his bed. However, he made no move to work on the stack of parchments on his bedside table. Instead he kept thinking about the tag that would in two years' time be etched into his skin. How Muggles could think that looked cool, baffled Shadow. It disgusted him. It brought forth what everyone believed werewolves to be. It was built solely on stereotypes, and he was sick of those stereotypes. With a determined glint in his sapphire eyes, Shadow pulled a blank parchment towards him and started writing ideas. He finally figured out what he wanted to do with his life.

**A/N: Here ya go! Chapter Six! I hope you guys don't mind the pace that this story is taking. I honestly can't believe we're six chapters in and it's still summer. I've written up to Chapter Eight and it is still summer. Also, please continue voting on the number/gender of the new Lupin-Black. To vote simply review what you'd prefer. Also, if anyone who is skilled at drawing would be willing to draw either the tag or even the entire family (Severus included) I'd love to see it! Not that you have to, of course. Alright, I've babbled enough. TTFN. :)**

**Luv,**

**PGF**


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter Seven

_Shadow banged against the door of his cupboard, screaming at the top of his lungs to be let out. He hadn't meant to burn the bacon. But Dudley had yelled at him to get him some juice from the refrigerator and he thought that the burner was on low enough. _

_ The next thing he knew he smelled smoke and Dudley was yelling to Uncle Vernon that Shadow had burnt the bacon on purpose. What followed was the worst beating Shadow had ever endured in his life. Afterwards, Vernon threw him into his cupboard and slammed the door shut and closed the grate. _

_ As Shadow began to sob, the door of the cupboard slowly creaked open and he was dragged out by the large, meaty hand of his Uncle. _

_ However, as Shadow looked around, he noticed that he had not been pulled into the hallway of Number Four Privet Drive, he had been pulled into a graveyard. "Go ahead, boy!" Vernon sneered and began to remove his belt. He swung the strip of leather in his hand menacingly. "Someone wants to meet you. Don't be rude, boy." The belt whipped out and the buckle caught Shadow across his cheek, causing him to yelp in pain. _

_ Shadow ran further into the graveyard as Vernon began to chase him, whipping the belt as he did. Just when he thought he would be able to outrun the overweight man, his foot caught on a broken gravestone and he fell to the ground with a hard thud. He heard Vernon laughing above him and he huddled into the fetal position, arms protecting his face and head. When he felt no blow, he glanced up at the rotund man. What he saw above him made him gasp out in fear. Instead of his uncle, Voldemort was standing above him._

_ "Are you going to beg me for death now, Shadow Lupin? You may as well as you have nothing left to live for." Voldemort reached down and placed his hand on his cheek, making a mockery of an intimate caress. He then guided Shadow's face to look out across the graveyard._

_ Shadow felt bile rise into his throat when he saw the gory scene before him. Bodies were scattered across the graveyard. "No!" he cried and ran to the nearest body. It was Ron's, his neck had been snapped. He went from body to body. He saw Hermione on the ground with her throat slit; Severus with a large hole in his chest; Draco's head was severed from his body. Shadow was shaking as he made his way toward the final two bodies. _

_ He fell to the ground sobbing and clutched Sirius and Remus to him. Sirius looked as though he could be sleeping; however he was cold to the touch, so Shadow knew that the killing curse did him in. Remus on the other hand, is what had Shadow retching. Remus had been gutted, the fetus of Shadow's brother or sister, torn ruthlessly from where it was being protected. A silver stake was lodged in the man's rib cage. _

_ Shadow heard footsteps behind him and looked over his shoulder as Voldemort crept slowly towards him. He raised his wand slowly and deliberately. "Goodbye, Mr. Lupin. Avada—!"_

"NO!" Shadow sat up in his bed, covered in sweat and urine. "Shit!" He hissed as he threw the blankets off of him and quickly changed his clothes. He glared at the puddle of foul smelling liquid and just felt pure rage. He clenched his right hand into a fist and punched the wall as hard as he could, several times.

He only stopped when he felt someone's hand on his shoulder. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Sirius with his hand on his shoulder and Remus rubbing his eyes.

"Shadow," Sirius yawned. "Punching a wall will not help anything."

Shadow stared at his dad for a second before he just slumped onto the floor sobbing quietly. The nightmares had been progressively getting worse and worse since his birthday. He heard Sirius mutter a drying, cleaning, and freshening charm on his sheets and blankets, which only caused him to sob even harder, burying his face in his hands. "Shh…" Remus cooed, sitting next to him and pulling him close. "It's okay, sweetheart. We aren't mad at you."

Sirius sat down next on Shadow's other side and rubbed the boy's back soothingly. "I'm s-sorry for waking you guys." He wiped his nose on a tissue from the box on his bedside table. "Mama, you can go back to bed."

Remus shook his head. "No, Shadow-boy. I'm not leaving you."

"Remus, maybe you should go back to bed," Sirius told his husband softly. "You're not twenty anymore and this pregnancy has been taking a toll on you, Beautiful." Sirius didn't think it was possible, but the morning sickness seemed to be affecting Remus worse this time around and the man had lost a substantial amount of weight, luckily, his first trimester would be over in a week, so the morning sickness would diminish.

"I'll be fine, Puppy." Remus smiled softly at Sirius.

Sirius nodded and looked at the still sobbing Shadow. He furrowed his brow and shook his head sadly. His son had been through so much, it wasn't fair to him. He didn't really like doing it anymore, but he figured he could baby Shadow just this once. He pulled his son onto his lap and tucked the young man's head beneath his chin. Shadow was too close to Remus in height now to sit on Remus' lap; however, he was still very small when compared to Sirius or Severus.

Sirius began to rock very slowly, all the while running a hand over Shadow's hair. He began to softly whisper, "Hush now, Little One. Daddy's got you. Daddy's right here." Shadow clutched to Sirius tightly, sobbing harder. Sirius hugged Shadow tighter in response. "It's okay now, I've got you. I'm not letting go, Shadow-boy."

Remus watched the two sadly. Remus understood why Sirius didn't baby Shadow anymore, the man had explained it to him often enough. It was just hard for Remus to accept that Shadow wasn't the baby he remembered. Even now, his vision was blurring to the point where it distorted the image of Shadow into that of a year and a half old toddler, clutching to his Daddy after he had fallen and gotten hurt.

Remus shook himself physically and mentally. It was high time he started treating Shadow like an adult. It wouldn't do well to treat Shadow like a baby, especially with the new baby on the way. But the problem for Remus was Moony, no matter what, Moony would always see Shadow as a cub, and because of that, it was difficult for Remus to see Shadow differently as well. Both he and Moony were very protective of Shadow, even more so now than they were before.

Remus ground his teeth together and shook his head again. It was hard for him to differentiate between himself and Moony when he was pregnant, since Moony deemed the transformations unsafe for the baby growing inside of them; he manifested himself in different ways, like sometimes taking control of Remus' emotions or at one point even his body. "Should I go and get Severus?" Remus finally asked Sirius as Shadow continued to cry into his chest. The three adults had been on high alert ever since Shadow's birthday and the 'Bedroom Incident' as it had now been called. One of them would often wake Shadow from a nightmare and talk him through it, however this was the first time he had wet the bed in about two weeks, and it pained Remus and Sirius to see the regression, and they knew it would pain Severus as well.

Sirius nodded his head and continued to whisper words of comfort to Shadow. Remus stood and went to find Severus. Considering the late hour, he was willing to bet his last galleon that the former Slytherin was sleeping. He approached the man's room and knocked on the door three times. Remus waited patiently as the door creaked open and Severus appeared, wearing nothing but his boxers and looking very irritated at having been woken up. "What is it, Remus?" He hissed.

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "Well, someone's cranky," he muttered to himself, happy that he had ended up with Sirius. There was no way in hell that Severus would've gotten up in the middle of the night to fetch Remus the foods he had been craving when he was pregnant with Shadow and that he would eventually crave later in this pregnancy. "Just thought you'd like to know that Shadow had another nightmare…he wet the bed again."

"Shit," Severus growled, retreating inside his room briefly to pull on his dressing gown and put on a pair of sweat pants over his boxers. "Remind me to give the other two members of the Golden Trio detention first thing term starts." He told Remus as they walked down the hall and towards Shadow's room.

"They were just trying to help him, Severus," Remus grumbled to the man.

"Yeah, some help. Do you see how much it took to snap the little progress we made?" Severus ground his teeth in agitation.

"They can't be punished for something that didn't happen in the school year, Severus. You know that." Remus rubbed at his face tiredly.

"I know," Severus sighed. "I hate seeing him like this, though. I know I may not have been there for him…or you, but I'm still the boy's father, and I love him very much." Severus glanced at Remus out of the corner of his eye. They were standing outside of Shadow's door. "Thank you, by the way." Remus just stared at him oddly. "The picture. Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Remus muttered awkwardly. Why was it so hard for him to be alone with Severus? He turned the doorknob and walked into Shadow's room.

"Shadow," Severus said as he kneeled on the ground in front of Sirius and Shadow. He reached out and gently touched the boy's back. The three adults waited patiently as Shadow slowly turned his head towards Severus. The reaction that followed stunned each and every one of the adults.

Shadow stared at Severus for a moment, hiccupped around a sob, and then flung himself into the man's arms, sobbing hysterically.

Severus sat for a second before hugging the teen. He placed a hand on the back of the boy's head. He did nothing more, and nothing less. Let's face it; it would've been awkward for everyone in the room if he had tried to rock the boy as Sirius had been doing.

Once Shadow had calmed down some, Severus felt okay asking about the nightmare. Shadow described it with grisly detail. When he was finished, he looked at Remus, sapphire eyes wide, innocent, and filled with unshed tears. "Mama, is the baby okay?"

Remus felt his heart break at the look on Shadow's face and the sound of his voice. "The baby's just fine, Shadow-boy. Trust me; I would know if something was wrong with the baby. I promise you, your sibling's fine, Shadow-boy."

Shadow nodded and stared at Sirius intently, before reaching out and touching his face, and neck, searching for body heat and a pulse. Sirius grabbed his hand and placed it right above the pulse on his neck. "Don't worry, son. I'm still here."

Shadow nodded again and turned to Severus, who still had him in his lap. Instead of reaching out with a hand to see if Severus' chest was okay, Shadow placed his ear directly over the man's heart and sighed in relief when he heard the steady beat.

These behaviors may have seemed odd to others but for Shadow, this was how he was brought back to reality. He needed to make sure that anyone that had been involved in his nightmare was alright.

Severus stood eventually, Shadow in his arms. He stomped down how his heart and stomach fluttered in happiness at being able to hold his son. He was denied this opportunity for so long, but he knew it wouldn't last, so he decided not to get used to the feeling. "Remus, pull back the blankets." He said softly, shushing Shadow when he had begun to protest. Remus did as he was asked, kissing Shadow's forehead as he passed by. Severus gently laid Shadow into his bed and pulled the blankets over him. He stepped back and allowed Remus and Sirius to say goodnight to their son.

Once the two left, both yawning widely, he sat on the edge of Shadow's bed and softly ran his hand over the boy's soft, raven hair. Shadow blinked up at him tiredly, eyes swollen and red. "I have one thing to say and then I'll let you go back to sleep. Even though we had a therapy session yesterday, I want to do another one in the afternoon, especially considering your reaction to the nightmare. Is that alright with you, Shadow?" When the boy nodded Severus smiled, leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight, Shadow."

Severus was almost out of the door when he heard the soft and tired. "G'night, Papa." Severus froze where he stood.

**A/N: Alright, this story is way behind schedule. I was hoping to be done typing it up yesterday, but unfortunately, life happened. On Tuesday, my boyfriend got hit by an SUV; he's okay, he's just got a broken toe and finger, Wednesday was the worst birthday of my life, then this weekend my Internet was cut off at home, so I couldn't upload this, or type any of it. In case any of you are wondering, I'm about to start writing chapter ten, I'm not sure how long this story will be, but it might be shorter than Snake Child chapter wise. Anyway, I've babbled enough. Review.**

**Luv,**

**PGF**


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter Eight

"I'm telling you, Sirius. Shadow called me Papa last night." Severus swore into his mug and took another sip of his coffee; black, no cream, no sugar, no milk.

Sirius nodded to himself. He had expected it, honestly. Shadow and Severus had gotten close, not as close as he was to Shadow, mind, but very close none the less. Sirius was surprised that he did not feel jealousy like Severus clearly expected. He was happy that Shadow was safe and had a good relationship with his birth father. What did it really matter if Shadow called Severus Papa? In private, at least. Shadow was still Sirius' son, always would be. A new title given to someone else wouldn't change that.

With those thoughts in mind, Sirius said simply, "Yeah, so?"

Severus blinked and choked on his coffee. "What? Y-You aren't mad?"

"No." Sirius told him honestly, taking a sip of his own coffee calmly. "You're an important person in Shadow-boy's life. He knows you're his birth father. Just because he calls you Papa doesn't make him any less my son. As far as I'm concerned, we're both his father, you sired him, I raised him. Make sense?"

"You're mad, Black," Severus laughed.

"I'm aware, now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for a tea party with the March Hare and Alice." Sirius smiled at Severus and left for work.

Severus remained alone in the kitchen for several more minutes until Shadow came stumbling in. "Good morning, Shadow." Severus said as he began washing his and Sirius' coffee mugs. "Sirius just left for work and if I remember correctly Remus has to run some errands today before we all go to Hogwarts for his appointment."

Shadow nodded tiredly and began to rummage in the pantry for some breakfast. He finally found a box of cereal and retrieved a bowl from a cabinet, a spoon from the dish drainer, and the jug of milk from the fridge. He sat at the table, and after the cereal and milk were in the bowl, began to eat slowly. He hadn't gotten more than a half an hour of sleep after he woke up from the nightmare. So he spent that time writing letters to Ron, Hermione, and even Draco asking them if they were alright. He had just sent the three letters off with Hedwig.

Severus sat down at the table with Shadow, even though he had already finished eating. "How'd you sleep after we all left, Shadow?"

"Like shit," he muttered absently.

"Shadow Remus Lupin-Black, what did you just say?" Both Shadow and Severus flinched at the sound of Remus' yell.

Shadow huffed and fought back his urge to roll his eyes. If there was one downside about having Remus and Sirius for parents, it was that they were polar opposites when it came to their ideas of how to raise Shadow. Remus was definitely the stricter of the two and Shadow always had to keep his tongue in check. Sirius, on the other hand, would spend hours coming up with new combinations to swear words. Honestly, when it came to what he could say, Shadow preferred Sirius' parenting style. Sirius had once told him; "I know you swear, but as your father, I don't want to hear it. You're almost an adult; I trust that you know when it is appropriate to use certain words."

Remus was not Sirius, however. So, Shadow did his best to look contrite and hung his head. "Sorry, Mama." He said. "It slipped out before I could stop it." He stared up at Remus and batted his long black eyelashes. Remus was a sucker for his puppy-dog face, not that he used it often.

Remus sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Alright, Shadow, I forgive you. Just watch your mouth. I don't want you turning into a miniature Sirius who cusses every other word." Remus laughed to himself. "I'm lucky your first word wasn't 'fuck'." Shadow felt his jaw drop. He had heard Remus say a few minor swears, but he had never heard the man drop the F-Bomb. "He used to say that all the time when you were a baby. It got to the point where if he said it around you, I would spray him with water."

Severus chuckled at the image that Remus presented. "What time is your appointment today?" He asked after regaining his composure.

"It's at four o'clock this afternoon."

"Will we get to see the baby this time, Mama?" Shadow asked excitedly.

Remus nodded. "We should find out the gender, as well." He checked his watch. "Alright, I'm off. Remember; be in the Hospital Wing at four o'clock sharp." He kissed Shadow's head and waved to Severus before heading back upstairs and leaving.

Severus sat at the table with his son and stared at Shadow. Shadow kept his eyes on his cereal and refused to look at Severus. "Shadow," Severus began.

"I really don't want to talk about it." Shadow muttered.

"We had a deal, Shadow." Severus told the teen softly. Shadow sighed and nodded solemnly. "When do you suppose Hedwig will be back with your responses?"

Shadow blinked up at Severus. "Sometime before noon. How did you—"

"I heard you let her out this morning. It's normal to do what you're doing, Shadow. It's normal to want reassurance after a nightmare. It's why your Dad, Mama, and I were in your room last night. Why we're in your room every night you have a nightmare. To reassure you that you're safe and we are, as well."

"I don't get why Draco was in the dream," Shadow told Severus. "We're not dating anymore, so why would he be in the dream?"

Severus successfully bit back a smile. "Why do you think he was in the dream?" His job as a psychologist was not to answer Shadow's questions, but to help the boy find the answers on his own.

Shadow remained silent for a moment, nibbling on his lower lip, a habit he had quite obviously picked up from Remus. Severus couldn't help the smile when he saw the resemblances between Shadow and Remus and Shadow and himself, even the resemblances between Shadow and Sirius. "I think," Shadow said softly, breaking the silence. "it's because I was an idiot for breaking up with him and I really liked him and cared about him, even if he could be an outright prat at times. Is that right?" Shadow looked up at Severus, sapphire eyes so wide and innocent that it made Severus want to hold him and shield him from the world and what he had to face.

Severus did not do this, though. Instead, he simply said, "You tell me."

Shadow paused again, thinking to himself. Finally he nodded and said slowly. "Yeah, that's right." He looked at Severus sadly, eyes slightly misty. "I miss him. I never should've broken up with him. None of what happened last year would've happened if I had stayed with Draco."

"That's true," Severus said softly. "However, if you had stayed with Draco, I wouldn't be sitting in front of you right now. We wouldn't have the relationship we have."

Shadow almost spat out the pumpkin juice he had been drinking. "Then I guess…" he said hesitantly after swallowing the drink. "Some good came out of last year, after all." Shadow smiled sadly and his eyes looked like they belonged to an old man, not a teenager.

"I know it's hard for you to think about the positives right now. But I want you to make a list of at least ten things that are good in your life right now. You don't need to show it to me. But, whenever you feel depressed, I want you to look at that list and remember that there is good in this world." Severus covered Shadow's hand with his. "Do you think you can do that, Shadow?"

Shadow nodded and stood up. He carried his dirty dishes to the sink and deposited them there. "I'll go do that right now."

Before Shadow left the kitchen, however, Severus called him back. "Shadow…one more thing. Do you remember what you said to me last night before I left your room?"

Shadow's face turned a brilliant red before he softly muttered, "Yes."

"I want you to know something." Severus stood from the table and walked up to Shadow. He placed his hands on the boy's slim shoulders. "If you want to call me that, I have no problem with it. We have grown quite close over the summer." Shadow looked uncertain and bit his lip again. "If you're worried about upsetting Sirius, I can assure you he has already told me that he is fine with you calling me…calling me Papa." Severus almost choked out the word that was so foreign on his tongue.

Severus and Shadow stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity when in reality it was only several seconds. It was broken when Shadow hesitantly stepped forward and hugged Severus. Severus let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and wrapped his arms around the boy. "Thank you…Papa." Shadow whispered quietly.

**A/N: Yeah, I'm evil aren't I for not putting the appointment in this chapter? Don't worry, though, you will all soon find out about the newest addition to the Lupin-Black family in the next chapter, which will be up as soon as I finish Chapter Ten, which currently only has three words in it. (Yay for college away sapping at my life.) Anyway, I've babbled on too much as it is now time for me to go to bed. Review, as it might get my creativity off its lazy butt and help me write a couple more chapters! :)**

**Luv,**

**PGF**


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter Nine

At four o'clock later that same day, Shadow, Severus, Sirius, and Remus all sat patiently as Madam Pomfrey came out of her office.

Remus was seated on one of the many beds in the room, Sirius gripping his hand excitedly. Shadow was standing beside Sirius, grinning ear to ear. Severus was standing on the opposite side of the bed, with the family, but at the same time, giving them their privacy.

Severus watched the family of three sadly. He wasn't going to lie to himself, he knew he was still very much in love with Remus, and he was jealous of Sirius, despite their newly found friendship. _That should be me holding Remus' hand_, he thought to himself sadly. _Why did I have to go and blow it?_

And, against his will, the memories of the day his life went straight to Hell came forth.

_Anyone who saw Severus would think that the man had no emotions at all. This was false, of course. He had emotions; he was just a master at hiding them. After all, he hid the crush he had on Remus Lupin throughout their entire time at Hogwarts. _

_ Severus laughed softly to himself as he stirred his cauldron. Crush? No, it wasn't a crush anymore; it hadn't been a crush for a long time. That little schoolboy crush Severus had on Remus slowly morphed into love sometime in their fifth year, when, after the whole werewolf mishap, Remus came up to him with tears in his eyes, imploring him to forgive him, to keep his condition secret. Severus had fought against his urge to hug the smaller boy and simply nodded and walked away, muttering his forgiveness._

_ Now, here they were, five years later and Severus had finally obtained the object of his desires. Of course, for the moment, their relationship was secret; Merlin only knew how Potter and Black—er…James and Sirius would take them being together. _

_ Remus and he had been dating secretly for three months, yesterday. The morning of their three month anniversary, Severus heard Remus throwing up in his bathroom. He had wanted to take Remus to see Madam Pomfrey, but the other man resisted stating he was fine; it was just a stomach bug._

_ Severus however was not sure, so made a deal with Remus that if the smaller man woke up puking this morning, he'd be going to the Hospital Wing, no if's, and's, or but's about it. And that was where Remus was now. _

_ Severus lifted his head when he heard the front door open then close. Remus was back. He quickly removed his potion's apron and put his potion under a stasis. He went up the stairs and entered his living room. Remus was standing in the middle of the room, wringing his hands together and nibbling on his lower lip, as he was apt to do when nervous. "Remus?" Severus called, stepping close to the man and kissing him on the head. "What'd Madam Pomfrey say?"_

_ "Severus…" Remus whimpered. "I-I'm pregnant. Two months, according to Madam Pomfrey."_

_ Severus reeled back in shock. No, this was _not_ going according to his plan. His plan was to be followed to the letter. The plan was, date for four months, then tell Remus' friends, after dating for a year, he'd propose, to which Remus would hopefully say yes, wedding six months later, six months after the wedding, start trying for children._

_ But on the flip side, he was excited to be a father. However, when he opened his mouth to reassure Remus, to tell him it was okay, that he'd stay with the man and the child, he heard himself say: "Get out."_

_ "Severus, please!" Remus sobbed, tears welling into his eyes. "Severus…please, I love you!"_

_ Severus' heart squeezed excitedly to hear those words. Severus opened his mouth to take back what he had originally said, though unintentionally, and to reciprocate his love for Remus, but what came out instead was: "Oh, I'm sure. How do you know that brat's even mine? You share an apartment with Black, how do I know you're not shagging him on the side? No, I won't be trapped into raising a kid, which I don't want, when you're not even sure it's mine."_

_ "Severus! You're the only person I've ever slept with! I was a virgin when we had sex, you know that!"_

_ Severus believed him. Severus wanted to take back all that he had said, even though he had no idea why he said it, but this time he wasn't surprised when instead of what he wanted to say, he said, "Yeah, when we had sex you were a virgin, we haven't had sex since; which must mean that you're getting satisfaction from someone else."_

_ Remus had tears streaming down his face. "Severus—"_

_ "GET OUT!" Severus finally roared verbally, while mentally he was screaming 'NO, REMUS, COME BACK!' As Severus watched Remus scurry out and close the door behind him, he couldn't help but wonder what made him say those things, and if he had any chance at getting Remus back._

"Severus? Hello? Earth to snarky potion's master?" Sirius was waving his hand in front of Severus' face. "You've been out of it for a while, Madam Pomfrey's done with checking Remus' vitals and is about to move onto the baby, we kinda wanted you out of La-La Land for that."

"Right, my apologies, I was caught up in my thoughts." Severus murmured absently.

"What were you thinking about?" Shadow's voice piped up.

Severus stared at his son and was so filled with pain at failing the boy as a father, had to look away from the sapphire eyes. "Nothing of great importance, Shadow, thank you for your concern, though."

Shadow's brow furrowed and was about to ask Severus if he was alright when he heard Madam Pomfrey gasp slightly. Four heads whipped towards the nurse simultaneously. "What is it?" Sirius asked, worriedly. "What's wrong?"

Madam Pomfrey laughed. "Remus, do you remember how I told you that you were lucky your werewolf side hadn't given you a 'litter' with Shadow?" Remus nodded slowly, apprehensively. "Well, congratulations, you're having twins." Remus' jaw dropped open with a slight pop.

"Genders, Poppy?" Sirius asked, bouncing up and down excitedly, looking like a dog who was about to be given a treat.

"You have a boy and girl in there, Remus." She smiled softly at the werewolf.

Remus returned her smile then turned his eyes toward Sirius. "You!" He shouted, pointing at his husband. "Are not coming near me ever again! Twins! Shadow hurt enough, thank you very much!"

Shadow closed his eyes and blushed scarlet. "I didn't want to hear that."

Remus turned his eyes to Shadow and smirked. "Oh, you were _so_ impatient to go into labor. But you took your bloody time getting out! I was pushing you out for over an hour, do you hear me?"

"Remus," Severus called softly, a chuckle in his voice. "You're scarring the boy."

Remus smiled at Severus. "Good, that's my job. Don't think I forgot who put me in that situation in the first place, Severus…and alone at that." Remus' smile wiped off of his face as he just gave Severus a disappointed look. Severus squirmed and averted his gaze.

The silence was awkward for a few minutes. "Anyway…" Madam Pomfrey said, clearing her throat. "Do any of you have any questions for me?"

"When exactly is Remus due?" Sirius was beaming.

"Well, he's around four months now, give or take a week, so that'd put the due date roughly around late January or early February." Poppy said, tapping her chin.

"Let's aim for January," Remus said quickly. "It was bad enough Shadow was almost three weeks late." Remus stared pointedly at his son.

"Uh…I'm sorry?" Shadow said, scratching the back of his neck.

Remus smiled, "Apology accepted, it's not like you can ever do that again."

Shadow shuddered in horror, "Mama, why are you torturing me?"

Remus shrugged. "For fun, mostly. When you're a parent—which had better not be for another five to ten years—you'll understand."

Shadow blushed and shrugged. "I'm…I'm not all too sure I even want kids. I mean, I'll love my siblings, sure, but just to have that much responsibility, when I already have the whole Boy-Who-Lived crap…I don't know."

The family took their leave then, after Poppy set up an appointment for Remus with her in another month. Outside in the corridor, Sirius stopped Shadow. "Kids are a lot of responsibility, and I'm glad you realize this. But they are also the greatest gift life can offer. Trust me; I have an amazing son to remind me of that every single day. Not to mention another son and a daughter on the way. Don't turn away such an amazing gift if it's offered to you, Shadow."

Shadow was shocked to hear what Sirius said. The man was hardly ever this serious about anything, but the look on his face and pride in his eyes told Shadow that Sirius knew what he was talking about. "I won't, Dad. But, as Mama said, if such a gift is offered to me, it won't be for a couple more years."

Sirius laughed. "Right. Make sure you make me a grandfather _after_ your siblings are out of nappies."

"I will." Shadow laughed along and sighed happily when Sirius threw an arm over his shoulder and led him down the corridor towards Remus' office so they could Floo home and enjoy the last night of summer.

**A/N: Okay, so this is the LAST chapter that takes place during the summer! I hope y'all liked the twins! I know its cliché, but I couldn't resist. This way Sirius gets his—technically—first born son, and his little girl. To answer this question now, though, Shadow and the boy will NOT be in a rivalry for the 'true Black heir'. If the twins were closer to Shadow in age, it would've been a good idea, but not when the new babies and their big brother are fifteen years apart. Alright, review, pretty please, cuz the next couple of chapters have been hard to write. Happy early Passover, Easter, and whatever else you celebrate! :)**

**Luv,**

**PGF**


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter Ten

Shadow sat in his compartment with Neville and a fourth year Ravenclaw girl named Luna Lovegood. Ron and Hermione were in the Prefects compartment, getting instructions, and would be here when they were done. Shadow sighed. He knew that Remus and even Severus were a little upset that Shadow wasn't made Prefect. Sirius was ecstatic though and taught him some tricks to prank the Prefects, which caused Remus to hit Sirius over the head with a rolled up newspaper.

"So, Shadow, anything interesting happen this summer?" Neville asked with a smile.

Shadow smiled back at his oldest friend. He was thankful that Neville hadn't asked him about the end of last year, or how he was holding up. He enjoyed the attempt at normalcy. "It was fantastic. We found out that Mama's having twins. I'm going to have a little brother and sister sometime in either January or February."

"Make sure the nargals don't get to them. Babies are especially susceptible to their influence." Luna piped up from behind her upside down magazine.

Shadow and Neville just stared at the odd girl. "Er…" Neville said, looking at Shadow for help. Shadow just shrugged his shoulders.

"Lupin-Black," the three occupants of the compartment looked up as their door slid open and Draco Malfoy addressed Shadow. "I was surprised to not see you in the Prefects compartment." Draco's silver eyes bore into Shadow's.

"I wouldn't have been made a Prefect…I've caused too much trouble." Shadow mumbled with a half-smile.

Draco chuckled. "Yes, I suppose you have." He turned to look at Luna and Neville. "Would either of you mind if I borrowed him for a minute?" The two shook their heads. "Lupin-Black, would you mind coming and speaking with me in private?"

"I suppose not, Malfoy." Shadow stood up, making sure to mark his place in _MacBeth_ so he could continue reading it once he and Draco were done speaking. About what, though, Shadow was clueless.

Once he and Malfoy were in the corridor, Shadow turned to his ex. "What was it with you calling me Lupin-Black?" He asked, slightly hurt by the distance Draco appeared to be establishing.

"Honestly, I'm not exactly sure where we stand right now," Draco told him quietly. "I doubt you want a new relationship right now, after…" Draco stopped himself.

Draco bit the inside of his lip and sighed. "I know you don't want to talk about anything with me, or probably anyone else, for that matter. But…I wanted…I needed you to know that if you wanted to, you can come and talk to me about anything."

They stood in an awkward silence for a few moments. "I had a nightmare the other night," Shadow mumbled softly, sliding against the wall until he was sitting on the floor of the train.

"What about?" Draco asked softly, sitting down next to Shadow, so close they were almost touching. Almost.

"Voldemort," Shadow whispered. "He…" Shadow looked up at Draco, eyes slightly misty. "He killed Ron, Hermione, P—Severus, Dad, Mama, my sibling—that was before we knew Mama was having twins—and…he killed you, too." Shadow's voice hitched slightly at the end.

Draco reached over and grabbed Shadow's hand and placed it over his chest, right above his heart. "I'm right here, Shads." Draco whispered. Shadow's heart fluttered at the sound of the pet name Draco had given him. Draco cupped his cheek, thumb rubbing away the tears that had fallen. "I'm not leaving this time." Shadow felt his face being tilted up and saw Draco leaning forward. Shadow's eyes fluttered closed and he pulled Draco's face closer to him, gasping the second their lips made contact.

This kiss felt so right, that it made Shadow's head spin. Shadow moaned and opened his mouth, allowing Draco's tongue entrance. They fought for dominance for only a split second before Draco took over the kiss. And Shadow allowed the taller boy to take control.

"Uh…" The two pulled apart and saw Ron gaping down at them. "So I take it you two are back together?" Shadow blushed but didn't say anything. He was slightly angry with Ron for breaking up his first kiss with Draco. "Um…" Ron scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. "Well, the Prefects meeting is done…obviously, you were just sucking face with Draco, and he's one of the Slytherin Prefects. So Hermione and I can join you in your compartment. Drake?" Shadow smiled slightly at the shortening of Draco's name. Once he and Draco had initially started dating, Ron and Hermione weren't so keen on the idea, but they quickly got to know the Slytherin and became friends with him. Ron insisted on giving Draco a nickname, because only his girlfriend was allowed to have the "weird" name. Shadow knew Draco hadn't tried to keep that friendship going, as per Shadow's…request at the time they broke up. "You going to join us? Maybe we can play a game of exploding snap while the two bookworms read." Ron smiled, hopefully.

Draco stood gracefully, despite the bumping and rocking of the train. He held a hand out for Shadow, to help him stand, but Shadow refused it, too embarrassed at what Ron had seen to receive or give physical contact. Shadow's attempt at getting up was a lot less graceful than Draco's and actually had him almost falling on top of the other boy. Draco helped him upright then turned to Ron. "I can't, actually. Thanks for the invitation, though. I told my friends in Slytherin I'd come find them once the meeting was done. Also…" Draco glanced at Shadow out of the corner of his eye. "I think I need to give Shadow some room…and time to think. I'll see you guys later." With that he turned and headed down the corridor, one hand shoved in his trouser pocket, the other raised in a lazy wave to them.

"So, where are we sitting?" Hermione asked as she came up. "Sorry, I stopped to talk to Ginny." Shadow gave Ron a sour look and nodded his head, indicating for Ron and Hermione to follow him.

Hermione went inside immediately, pulling a shrunken book out of her pocket, resizing it, and plopping down into the nearest seat and began reading earnestly. Ron, however, put an arm out and stopped Shadow from entering. "Hey…are you mad at me? I didn't want to be Prefect; I really thought it was going to be you. If you want, we can go and talk to Dumbledore about it and—"

"Just stop, Ron," Shadow growled. "I don't care that you're Prefect, I'm proud of you and it gives you more time to hang out with Hermione without you interrupting her reading time." Shadow paused and ground his teeth together, wincing when one of his fangs scraped against another. It was the day before the full moon and Shadowpaw wanted out.

"Then what is it?" Ron seemed relieved that Shadow wasn't mad about the Prefect thing.

"Look…" Shadow sighed heavily, trying to regain control of his emotions and shove Shadowpaw down into the recesses of his mind. "What you just saw between me and D—Malfoy, that was the first time that it ever happened." Shadow was blushing deeply at this point.

"Oh!" Ron said, equally as red. "Wait…you only ever kissed him on the cheek? That was the first time you two ever made out?" Ron asked skeptically.

Shadow nodded. "I didn't really want to," he muttered, embarrassed. "Well, that's not right. I wanted to, but it was like Mama and Dad were around every corner, so we didn't risk it…and then we kinda broke up a month in. Granted…I was being stupid but still…that's not really a lot of time in which to make out."

"Well…" Ron cleared his throat. "I'm sorry for ruining it." Ron smiled at Shadow and clapped his shoulder. "So, are you two back together or what? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually miss that arrogant Slytherin prat."

"I don't know, Ron…" Shadow sighed sadly, opening the door of their compartment. "I really don't know."

**A/N: Chapter Ten is up on April 10****th****, it's almost as if I planned this…Okay, I didn't, I actually just finished writing Chapter Eleven, so I figured I'd upload this chapter, I doubt any of you really care about having another chapter to read, right? Am I right? On a very upsetting note, IT IS FRICKING SNOWING! It's APRIL and it's SNOWING! I hate Michigan. Anyway, review! :) **

**Luv,**

**PGF**


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: I am not getting paid for this! I am just doing this for fun! I don't own Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, or any of the other Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fiction. Thank you.

Chapter Eleven

Shadow was sitting quietly at the Gryffindor table, Ron on his right, Hermione next to Ron, and Neville on his left. The first years had just been sorted into their houses and Dumbledore was about to stand up and give his start of the year speech. He smiled up at his parents, all three of them, to signal that he was fine, at the moment. Remus would continue teaching History of Magic until he gave birth, then Sirius, who surprisingly had a deep love for history, would take over the subject until Remus was back from paternity leave.

Dumbledore had just barely started his speech, when he was interrupted. The entire student body started whispering, nobody _ever_ interrupted the great Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Shadow felt his face pale and saw Remus, Sirius, and Severus looked rather off color as well as the woman who spoke of werewolf tags at Shadow's hearing stood and began to give her own speech.

Shadow and his fellow students listened to this woman's speech. Ron mentioned that her name was Dolores Umbridge and she would be their Ministry appointed Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Shadow had faded out during her speech, and finally came back to earth when she said her closing line "…Furthermore, I am here to protect you from potential dangers inside these very walls." Shadow may have been imagining it, but he could've sworn Umbridge was staring at him then flicked her eyes towards Remus as she said this. Shadow stared back unflinchingly. "Thank you." Umbridge finally said before finally taking her seat. Dumbledore lead a smattering of applause and jumped back into his welcome speech before sending them all off to their respective common rooms.

Hermione and Ron had to lead the first years up to the dormitory, and Shadow would be staying with Sirius and Remus in their quarters for a majority of the time. However, Ron waved Hermione ahead to start leading the first years, stating he'd catch up with her once he was done talking to Shadow.

Shadow and Ron made it up to the first floor in silence but by the time they got to the second floor, Ron turned to Shadow, standing in his way. "Mate…why did it look like Umbridge was staring at you during the whole 'protect you from potential dangers inside Hogwarts' thing?"

Shadow gulped and looked around to make sure no one was within earshot of them. "I can't explain right now, okay? I promise, I'll tell you and Hermione all about it tomorrow during lunch. We can talk up in Mama and Dad's quarters. Is that fair?"

Ron smiled. "That's fair." They hugged each other, making sure to do a lot of manly back slapping, before Ron said, "I'd better go and help Hermione. See you in class tomorrow." Ron began to walk away. "Oh, yeah, congratulations on becoming a big brother, it's a lot of fun, trust me," Ron beamed at him and jogged away. Shadow's smile faded as he watched his best friend jog off and he turned to head up to the third floor.

He just stepped into the corridor that would take him to the Lupin-Black quarters, when an arm appeared from the darkness and pulled Shadow into an alcove. Shadow almost screamed until he heard a whispered "_Lumos_," and the alcove was lit. Shadow wasn't sure if he felt relieved to be alone with one Draco Malfoy in a hidden alcove.

"I thought all Prefects had to lead first years to their dorms?" Shadow wasn't sure why he felt nervous. It was just Draco.

"Yeah, it's a quick task when your dorms are in the dungeons. The difficult part was beating you up to the third floor so I could talk to you." Draco was smiling softly at Shadow, not smirking, but actually _smiling_, and Shadow felt so privileged to see such a rare sight.

Shadow suddenly felt very warm and began tugging at his uniform's collar and loosening his tie. "What—" Shadow gulped and licked his suddenly dry lips. "What do you want to talk to me about?"

Draco's smile grew slightly and he brushed some hair out of Shadow's sapphire blue eyes. "I want to talk to you about two things, Shadow." Shadow nodded, signaling Draco to continue. "The first thing I wanted to talk about is I wanted to ask if you thought about us getting back together while you were on the train."

"I did," Shadow said softly. "I'm not opposed to the idea…however; I still want more time to think about it. I'll let you know by the end of the week."

"That's understandable, thank you for taking time to actually think about it." Draco leaned in and gave Shadow a very chaste kiss on his lips. "The second thing I wanted to talk about," Draco's voice was very serious now. "I wanted to ask you…are you a werewolf, Shadow?"

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get up. Life happened…a lot. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it. Review! :) **

**Luv,**

**PGF**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Shadow gulped. "Wh-What? What are you talking about, Draco? Of course I'm not a werewolf!" Shadow knew his voice was shaking and he hated himself for it.

"Please don't lie to me, Shadow."

Draco's voice was so soft and vulnerable that Shadow found himself bowing his head. "Yes…Yes, Draco. I'm a werewolf. How did you find out?"

"A few things, really; like you being irritable before the full moon and tired immediately after. Not to mention how Umbridge—the 'half-breed hater'—was looking at you during her speech. Plus…" Draco paused for a brief moment. "It's fairly common knowledge that Remus Lupin is a werewolf, and while it's rare for there to be born werewolves, it still happens as long as one or both of the parents have lycanthropy." Draco looked pensive. "There are actually very rare cases of a werewolf being born without the parents having lycanthropy, but like I said, that's extremely rare.

"I want you to understand, Shads…that you being a werewolf doesn't change the way I feel about you. Nothing will. In fact, I want to show you something." Draco stepped away from Shadow, not an easy task in a tiny alcove. "My father has been teaching me for a couple of months now, thought it'd come in handy someday." Draco smiled like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. And slowly, before Shadow's very eyes, he changed. In place where Draco stood was a pure white husky with silver eyes.

Shadow inhaled softly and reached out and scratched the dog behind his ears. The dog panted happily before transforming back. "So, if there's ever a time when you want to ditch your folks, you and I can hang out on the full moon." Draco said shyly.

"Well…as a matter of fact…" Shadow bit his lip, debating whether he should ask Draco. "Because Mama's pregnant, he doesn't transform into a werewolf, and because of that, Dad gets anxious about leaving him home for the night. Severus offered to stay with me while I change, but I know he has potions to brew…so, I was wondering, if…maybe you'd be willing to come to the Shrieking Shack with me tomorrow before the full moon and…keep me company?" Shadow finished his question in a whisper.

"I'd love to. It should be a lot of fun!" Draco beamed, white teeth shining in the wand light.

Shadow smiled back, let's face it, Draco's smile was infectious. "Okay, meet me at the Whomping Willow an hour before sunset."

Draco nodded and kissed Shadow once more. "Sounds good, it's a date," Draco winked and stepped out of the alcove, Shadow followed after him. They said goodbye and began walking down opposite sides of the corridor.

Before Draco got out of earshot, Shadow called, "See you tomorrow, Lux," before dashing off towards his parents' quarters, giggling like crazy.

When he entered the quarters, his parents were already there, fuming about Umbridge. "Oh, Shadow!" Remus rushed up to Shadow and pulled him into a hug. "We were getting worried that Umbridge had somehow managed to call you into her office or something." Remus pulled away and smoothed down the boy's hair.

Shadow smiled at his Mama. "No, I stopped in the corridor to talk to an old friend."

"Shadow," Sirius called from where he was sprawled on the couch, butterbeer in hand, "If you want me to, I can transform with you tomorrow night." Sirius sat up in order to look his son in the eyes. "Say the word, you know I'm always here for you, kiddo."

Shadow grinned and shook his head. "No need. I can handle it, Dad. I promise."

Sirius grinned proudly. "That's my boy. Now then, onto more annoying subjects…"

"We don't want you to be alone with Umbridge, if you can help it." Remus told Shadow frantically, taking a seat next to Sirius and placing a hand on his bump.

"If you are given detention by her, we have asked Severus to run interference. Meaning, if Umbridge gives you detention, Professor Snape has already given you detention, so you'll just serve double time with him." Sirius continued, rubbing calming circles on Remus' back.

"These 'detentions'," Remus air quoted the word, "are a cover for your Occlumency lessons."

"I understand," Shadow told them, taking a seat in the arm chair and propping his feet up on the footstool in front of him, yawning as he did so. "I'm going to tell Ron and Hermione about me being a werewolf tomorrow. I figure it's probably better they hear it from me, as opposed from Umbridge's huge toad mouth."

Sirius snickered behind his hand as Remus' mouth quirked into a smile. "That's probably for the best, Shadow-boy." Remus told him. "It's always better to be honest with the people you love."

"I know, Mama. Which is why I'm telling you both I'm honestly knackered and I'm heading off to bed; I'll see you both in the morning! Night!"

"Goodnight!" The parents called to their son's retreating back.

The next morning passed slowly for Shadow and his two best friends. Their schedule for that day was torture; Transfiguration was first, then Double Potions right before lunch, Charms following lunch, and then Herbology to finish off the day.

By the time they got to Potions, which was of course with Slytherin, Shadow's stomach was in knots. _Why?_ Shadow thought miserably. _Why can't Voldemort just be dead so Papa doesn't have to pretend to hate me and vice versa. This is going to be a long class period…._

"Today…" Severus spoke barely above a whisper, but it got the wanted effect. "You will be working on a Calming Draught, as it is your O.W.L. year, I'm sure most of you will be needing it at some point and rest assured, I will not supply them to you when your inadequate brains cannot handle the pressure." He flicked his wand at the board and made the instructions appear. "Get started, you have the entire class period."

"I thought you said he was actually nice, Shadow," Ron hissed. "He's still as much of an ass as ever."

"He has to be. Look, I'll explain later, okay?" Shadow glanced at Ron. "Mate, you're cutting those roots wrong, here let me—"

"Have something to tell the rest of us, Mr. Lupin-Black?" Shadow gulped as Severus loomed over him.

"I-I was just trying to show Ron how to—"

"If Mr. Weasley makes a mistake in this potion it is his mistake to make and you should not be helping him. If he cannot make this potion on his own by now, he won't ever be able to make it. Ten points from Gryffindor. Stay behind after class." With that, Severus swept back up to the front of the classroom.

"Papa…" Shadow whispered so softly that even with his heightened hearing, he barely heard it.

The rest of the class period passed with no further incidents and soon enough the bell that signaled lunch was chiming. "Go on up to Mama's and Dad's quarters," Shadow told Ron and Hermione. "Mama should be there already, he won't mind whipping us up some lunch."

"Wait, Professor Lupin knows how to cook?" Ron stared at Shadow incredulously.

Shadow nodded. "Actually, it's better than your mum's food, Ron…but don't tell her I said that."

Ron laughed. "I doubt it, Mate, no offense, but my mum's the best cook in the world." Ron and Hermione walked out hand in hand.

"Shadow…" Severus called once the door was shut firmly. "Are you alright?"

Shadow turned around and nodded. "It was a bit of a shock, I guess…I mean I know the man you really are, and…well, I guess I wasn't as prepared for this as I thought." Shadow attempted to smile at Severus.

"That was a wonderful thing you did, helping Mr. Weasley. Twenty points to Gryffindor, for sticking by your friend."

"So, it's actually only ten points, huh?" Shadow joked.

"Yes, well, I can't give my son preferential treatment, now can I?" Severus' lips were turned up in a slight smile.

"I guess not." Shadow shrugged. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, you don't need to babysit me tonight. I can handle it."

"I don't consider it babysitting, Shadow. I enjoy spending time with you, whether or not you have fur. But, if you say you can handle it on your own, then I believe you." Severus opened one of his desk drawers and pulled out a vial of potion. "Here," he said, handing it to Shadow. "Your Wolvesbane Potion."

"Thanks," Shadow said, pocketing it. "I've got to go meet Ron and Hermione in Mama's and Dad's rooms. The werewolf's coming out of the bag. I'll see you later, Papa." Shadow stepped up and hugged his father, then headed out the door of the classroom.

"Shadow," Remus called happily from the kitchen once the boy entered the quarters and sat across from Ron and Hermione. "I just made a plate of ham sandwiches for you three." He smiled at the teens. He turned to the pot that was simmering on the stove and tapped his chin. "Ah, I know what this needs. Tabasco sauce."

Shadow realized that Remus was making one of his favorite cravings; salmon, tabasco, crackers, and ravioli soup. He turned to his friends, horrified. "Whatever you do, 1: do not accept the soup when he offers it and, 2: do _not_ say 'What is _that_?' or wrinkle your nose in disgust. He will start to cry or get very angry. Last time I did it, he cried for three hours straight stating that I thought he was disgusting and I didn't love him anymore. When Dad did it, he got a chair thrown at him." Ron and Hermione started to laugh but stopped when Shadow said, "I'm not kidding."

"Here you go, you three. Would any of you like to try any of the soup I made?" Remus smiled brightly at the three.

"No thank you," Hermione said politely.

"No thanks, Professor. It smells good, though. But I had a big breakfast." Shadow was impressed by Ron's acting.

Remus turned to Shadow. "No thanks, Mama. You and my brother and sister need it more than me." Shadow smiled brightly at Remus, causing the man to hug him tightly to his chest.

"You're the sweetest child a parent could ask for," Remus gushed.

"Mama. Mama! I can't breathe!" Shadow struggled against Remus before the man finally let him go with a laugh and an apology.

Once the four were halfway done with their food, Ron finally spoke. "So, what did you want to tell us Shadow?"

Shadow set down the second half of his sandwich and wiped his mouth with a napkin before looking at his two best friends. "Alright, I'm not going to beat around the bush with you guys, so I'll just come right out and say it. Mama is a werewolf. He's a Bitten. Which means that—"

"You're a Born." Hermione finished for him in a whisper.

Shadow nodded. "That's right. I'm sorry I didn't tell either of you before now." Shadow stared at the two imploringly. "I want you to know that it wasn't because I didn't trust you two!" He added. "It's just, well, we thought it would be best if not a lot of people knew. I wanted to tell you, just in case things go south with Umbridge and somehow people find out about Mama and me. I wanted you both to hear it from me."

Ron and Hermione sat quietly for a while. "Shadow," Ron stood up slowly. "You bloody git!" He laughed, pulling the shorter boy up and into a hug. "We thought you were dying or something!" Shadow laughed as he and Ron pulled away. "We still love you, Mate." Hermione nodded enthusiastically before stepping forward to hug Shadow herself.

"He's right, Shadow," Hermione said, kissing his cheek. "Best friends, no matter what!"

"If you two are willing," Remus finally spoke up, waving his wand and sending the now empty plates to the sink. "Sirius could teach you to become Animagi, so that you could spend time with Shadowpaw on the full moon."

"Shadowpaw?" Hermione and Ron asked in unison.

"Oh, that's what my werewolf persona is called. Mama's Moony. Dad's a grim Animagus called Padfoot. And P—Severus is a panther Animagus called Ebenus. Uncle James was a stag called Prongs. Mama, Dad, Uncle James, and a rat traitor were called the Marauders when they went to Hogwarts. Cool, huh?"

Hermione nodded as Ron asked, "Will we get nicknames, too?" His eyes sparkled excitedly.

Remus laughed. "I'm sure you will, however, you usually aren't the one who picks your nickname. Your friends usually pick it and it has to do with the characteristics of the animal you portray. For example, Sirius is called Padfoot because of the pads on his paws, Severus is Ebenus because of his black fur, and I'm Moony because, well, I change only on the full moon. My friends weren't as imaginative as I was."

"So why is Shadow called Shadowpaw?" Hermione asked, clearly interested in becoming an Animagus and the how nicknaming process worked.

"Well, that has to do with something else," Remus said with a smirk, causing Shadow to blush as he knew Remus was going to reveal his stuffed wolf which he named Shadowpaw as a baby…and he might still sleep with occasionally…weekly…nightly. "He had a stuffed white wolf when he was a baby and it had one black dot on its foot so Shadow called it Shadowpaw," Hermione cooed and Ron snickered. "So, after Sirius and I saw him in his wolf form, which is all black, and at the time, as he was still a cub, had very large paws, we called him Shadowpaw."

"That makes sense," Hermione nodded. The three of them groaned when the fifteen minute warning bell for their next lesson began to ring.

"Off to class, you three." Remus chuckled as he ushered them out into the corridor. "Shadow, don't forget to take the potion tonight." Remus looked at his son with anxious eyes.

"Don't worry, Mama. I won't. I promise. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Shadow hugged his Mama and kissed him on the cheek before he rushed off to catch up with Ron and Hermione.

"Mate," Ron said guffawing. "You're never going to live that down."

"Shut up, Ron," Shadow stuck his tongue out at the boy and pushed him gently.

"Whatever you say, Shadowpaw." Ron winked and laughed again, causing the other two to join in with him as they made their way to Charms.

Shadow stood by the Whomping Willow an hour before sunset. He nervously bit at his nails, waiting for Draco to show up. After fifteen minutes passed, Shadow sighed sadly and was ready to call Sirius with his communication mirror when he saw someone running towards him. "Shads!" Draco called as he ran down the hill. Shadow smiled at him and waved.

"Sorry, I'm late," Draco panted once he reached the tree. "I was on Prefect duty and just got off. I booked it here as fast as I could, but I was up in Lion territory, which is why it took me so long."

"It's no problem, I wasn't worried," Shadow lied. He smiled wide, and felt hurt when Draco flinched back.

"Whoa! Let's get you to the shack. Your fangs are showing." Draco wrapped an arm around Shadow's shoulders and looked at him. "Are your eyes lighter?"

Shadow bit his lip, mindful of his fangs. "Probably. Are you sure you can handle this, Draco? If not, just say the word and I'll call Dad or Severus instead."

Draco shook his head and immobilized the willow so they could crawl through the hole that led to the Shrieking Shack. "Shadow, I want to be here. I want to get back together with you, and that means accepting you for who you are, not hiding from you once a month. I'm here with you, no matter what."

Shadow smiled at the blond happily before crawling through the hole at the base of the tree. They were silent for the rest of the journey to the Shack.

Once there, the two waited silently for the moon to finish rising.

**A/N: …I'M BACK! I know that this was on hiatus for a long, long, loooooooooooooooooooooong time. And I do apologize. A lot has happened in my life and I just kind of got swept up by it. I broke up with my bf of 2 ½ years, started dating one of my best male friends who now lives 1900 miles away, my best friend is pregnant, and I've had to deal with 2 deaths. Not to mention school. Now then; after reading the entire trilogy (yes, from start to finish) after I got out of work, my passion for this story was renewed. I plan on writing as many chapters as possible tonight especially because I have OOTP at my disposal. Now to close this as per usual PGF fashion: I think I've babbled enough! Enjoy and review! It's great to be back!**

**Luv,**

**PGF**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

The following weeks were probably the worst Shadow had ever experienced at Hogwarts. Umbridge was an absolute tyrant. She forbade the use of wands in her classroom and each class period ended in her attempting to give Shadow detention. But luckily he had already been given "detention" that evening with Professor Snape.

Those detentions with Severus, of course, were a cover for his Occlumency lessons. To Shadow's surprise, he was quite adept at the skill. Severus, Sirius, nor Remus were surprised by this, considering Severus is a master at the skill and is Shadow's biological father.

His relationship…or whatever it was with Draco was progressing nicely, more slowly than the first time, but that was alright with the two of them. They had gone on a couple of dates while on Hogsmeade weekends, though Sirius and Remus had been hesitant to sign the permission slip this year due to Voldemort's return. Shadow wasn't really sure what they were right now, but he was looking forward to how it would end up.

Shadow was sitting between Ron and Neville at breakfast when Umbridge stood up and cleared her throat in her annoying way. "Good morning, everyone." Shadow felt his lip curl up in disdain as she spoke. Glancing up at the High Table, he saw Remus scooting his chair closer to Sirius, and further from Umbridge, with a hand on his stomach. Remus was now five and half months along and obviously showing. "I have an important announcement."

"Shove it up your wide arse," Shadow muttered to Neville who snickered.

"In order to further protect Hogwarts from attacks," Shadow clenched his fists as he saw that pink toad's eyes flick to Remus. "I have managed to convince an old friend of mine to come out of retirement. Please welcome, former head of the Werewolf Capture Unit in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, Romulus Lupin."

Shadow cocked his head to the side and shrugged when Ron asked if that was a relative of his. He saw movement from the High Table and saw Remus shaking and Sirius had pulled him very close and was carding his hand through the pregnant man's graying hair and whispering something in his ear. Every head in the Great Hall turned as the large doors opened and in entered a man who looked astonishingly like Remus, only heavy set and with a full head of gray hair. He walked proudly and with a younger man's gait towards the high table. He walked up to Umbridge and shook her fat hand. He turned to face the students who were all sitting in silence. "Hello, Hogwarts students," he said with what appeared to be a smile. Shadow thought he looked constipated, honestly. "I would like to say it is a great honor to be back in these hallowed halls. And it is doubly nostalgic for me as I have been reunited with my beloved son whom I have not seen in many years. I have learned from my friend Professor Umbridge that he is a favorite amongst the professors. My son is the very popular History of Magic teacher, Remus John Lupin." Romulus moved his hand to gesture grandly towards Remus who gave his students a wave and weak smile, avoiding the gaze of his father. "I believe you all have class now, so I won't keep you any longer. Have a wonderful day and I look forward to getting to know you wonderful, bright children."

Shadow, Ron, Hermione, and Draco rushed out of the Great Hall and into the Entrance Courtyard. "Your grandfather is former head of the Werewolf Capture Unit?!" Ron hissed in shock.

"I didn't know. I didn't know any of my grandparents were even alive." Shadow told them all. "He doesn't sit right with me…did you see how Mama reacted to him?"

Hermione nodded. "If he's such a 'beloved' son, Remus wouldn't look petrified of him. Shadow, you need to find out more about him. You're his grandson; you might be able to trick him into telling you his motives."

"Shadow will not be going anywhere near that monster," Remus had followed them out into the courtyard. "I want you to avoid him. At all costs." Remus sounded purely hysterical and his eyes kept shifting around, as if Romulus would pop up at any moment. He grabbed Shadow's shoulders so hard that he caused the fifth year to wince. "Promise me you won't go anywhere near him." When Shadow didn't respond, Remus shook him slightly. "_Promise me_!"

"I promise!" Shadow wasn't sure how to react when Remus just nodded and walked away as fast as possible. When he was out of ear shot, Shadow said to his friends, "I think I should get to know my long lost grandfather." His friends nodded eagerly behind him, patting him on the back. They headed back into the castle just as the warning bell began to chime.

The trudge up to the Defense classroom was too quick for any of the fifth years' liking. Soon they found themselves at their seats, with their books on their desks and their wands far away in their book bags. Shadow's skin felt like it was crawling and he felt vulnerable without his wand; a feeling he was not a fan of.

All too soon they heard the tell-tale _tap tap tap_ of Umbridge's fat high heeled shoes on the floor. "Ordinary Wizarding Examinations." She waved her wand at the chalk board and her words began to appear in her girly, cursive handwriting. "O.W.L.'s. Also known as Owls. Study hard and you will be rewarded; fail to do so and the consequences could be severe."

Hermione raised her hand eagerly and Umbridge grudgingly called on her. "Does that mean will start using defensive spells in class? So we can get adequate studying done?"

The fuchsia toad scoffed and rolled her eyes. "As I have told you students before: you have no need for using spells in my classroom. You will be learning defensive spells in a secure environment in a risk free way."

"Yeah, well if Hogwarts is attacked it isn't going to be 'risk free'," Shadow snapped, gripping the edge of his desk tightly.

"Students must raise their hands in my class!" Umbridge shrieked, as she always did whenever Shadow made a comment about them being attacked, so just about every class session. She cleared her throat and continued, "A theoretical knowledge is sufficient to get you through your OWL exams. And passing your exams and becoming competent witches and wizards is what school is all about!" She giggled and Shadow and his friends fought the urge to gag.

"How is theory supposed to protect us from what's out there?" Shadow was leaning back on the back two legs of his desk chair looking very much like Sirius whenever he was trying to be laid back and casual about a serious topic.

"For the hundredth time, there is nothing out there, _dear_." Umbridge was grinding her teeth and trying very hard to keep up that sweet façade. "Who would want to attack children like yourselves?"

Shadow's chair landed back on the ground with a loud bang. "I don't know. How about _Lord Voldemort_!?" Shadow was in a very offensive position with his palms pressed flat against the desk while leaning over it and closer to Umbridge.

The incompetent professor's back went rigid. "Now I want to make this quite plain. You have been told that a…certain dark wizard has returned. That is a lie." Her words were quick, curt, and matter of fact. Too bad her words were lies. 

"It's not a lie! I saw him, I fought him! He killed Cedric Diggory!"

"Detention, Mr. Lupin-Black!"

"I already have—"

"No, you don't!" Umbridge almost cackled. "I overheard Professor Snape telling Professor Dumbledore that he would be away this evening and therefore to inform you that your detention would be held another evening." She loomed over him and grinned evilly. "You're mine tonight, Lupin-Black."

A/N: Okay, so I have no excuses for my lack of updating except writer's block. You may have noticed I changed my pen name. Well, I like this one more and I have been meaning to change it. So I have nothing else to say. Read and review!

Luv,

GoM


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Outside in the corridor after Umbridge's class let out, Draco, Ron, and Hermione all spun around and faced Shadow, concern on their faces. "Shadow," Ron balked, face going from red to white in a matter of seconds. "What are you going to tell your parents?"

Hermione nodded, twining her arm with Ron's, bushy hair flying everywhere as her head bobbed. "Ron's right. You said your parents wanted you to avoid her at all costs."

Shadow turned his head to the side and bit his lower lip, nibbling on it furiously. He hadn't realized that Severus wasn't going to be in the castle tonight and worried what kind of business he had to take care of outside of the castle. He sincerely hoped that it wasn't a summons from Voldemort. He looked up with a confused expression when he felt his lower lip being gently pulled away from his teeth. "Save that for me," Draco murmured in a low, gentle voice, fingers tracing over the abused spot on his lower lip before he moved his hand up to caress Shadow's cheek. "You didn't expect to get detention with the toad, did you?"

Shadow sighed and shook his head in the negative. "I have no idea what I'm going to tell Mama or Dad; I'm a bloody terrible liar when it comes to them." He thought for a moment, absently reaching out for Draco's hand and grasping it tightly. He felt his shoulders relax slightly as Draco began to rub circles into the back of Shadow's hand with his thumb.

The quartet made their way down to the Great Hall for lunch in relative silence, couples paired off and walking happily with their respective partner. Finally, just as they made it to the first floor landing, Shadow got an idea. "Quidditch practice," he states plainly, as if it was the most obvious answer.

"Uh…mate," Ron said over Hermione's head, his lower face almost completely obscured by his girlfriend's hair. "Practice hasn't started yet. Remember?" Ron had made the team as Keeper at tryouts, although Ron wasn't all that sure how he managed to get a spot.

"I'll just tell Mama and Dad that Angelina wanted to me to run Seeker drills one on one with her on the pitch." Shadow smiled. "It's not a complete lie. Angelina wants me to do that with her, but tomorrow. Not tonight."

They were just rounding the corner of the Entrance Hall when Shadow saw something that flipped his entire world upside down. "YOU GODDAMNED FREAK!" Romulus roared at Remus, advancing on the pregnant and obviously upset teacher. "How dare you end up pregnant? Are you trying to disgrace the family name!? I should have disowned you when you turned into a monster!" Romulus raised his wand.

Remus cowered away from the raised wand, which was a new sight for Shadow to see. Remus was an accomplished duelist; he even had a plague hanging in the trophy room. "N-No. Please, I'm sorry!" Remus doubled over, protecting his stomach from the threat.

Without a second thought Shadow pulled his own wand out of his wrist holster and pointed it at Romulus. "_Expelliarmus_!" The red jet of light hit Romulus' hand, causing him to drop his wand and the wand to roll without of his reach. The older man's eyes rose slowly at the great defender.

"And who the hell are you?" The man growled angrily. If Shadow hadn't known any better, he would've said that Romulus was a near feral werewolf. But as far as he could tell the man was human. Shadow ignored the question and walked up to Remus.

"Shadow…" The older lycan sighed in relief, collapsing onto his son's shoulder, and sobbing. Shadow was now 5'9" tall, three inches taller than Remus. The teen wrapped his arms around his Mama and hugged him tightly, glaring at the man's attacker.

"What? Is this your spawn's father? Gone ahead and got knocked up by a student, eh whelp?" Romulus was laughing evilly. "Oh your teaching license is going out the window! And you'll never find a job anywhere again you damn mongrel! I hope—"

"Shut the fuck up!" Shadow finally roared, stepping in front of Remus in a defensive manner. This man reminded him of Vernon Dursley and it made bile rise up into his throat. He hadn't had the courage to stand up to that fat tub of lard, but he'd be damned if he allowed someone to abuse his family. "What gives you the right to—" Before Shadow could even register it, Romulus was in front of him, backhanding him across the cheek with enough force to cause the teen to fall to the stone floor.

"I have every right to put that filth in his place. Are you one of those bloody werewolf activists or something?" Romulus spat on Shadow's face.

Shadow felt his cheek begin to swell and he knew his lip split, but he didn't care. He licked the blood off of his lower lip and stood carefully. "Something like that," Shadow beamed brightly, grateful that the Entrance Hall was empty of other people and wishing that it was close enough to a full moon for his fangs to be showing.

With just as much speed as his grandfather, Shadow had Romulus shoved up and pinned up against the closest wall. "If you ever threaten my Mama or siblings again, I will end your life. I already have to kill one man, don't think I won't hesitate to do the same to you if you so much as look at my family again." He released the man's robes and walked towards Remus again, grabbing his hand and leading him up the stairs. "C'mon," he said to not just Remus but to his friends who had watched the scene in stunned silence. "Let's go eat in our private rooms. Away from the garbage." He sent a glare that he knew is Papa would be proud of at Romulus who sent his own meager glare back at the boy. _Well_, Shadow thought as he led a still shaking Remus up the stairs. _So much for trying to figure out Romulus' motive by getting close to him. _

He glanced sideways at his Mama, who had both hands still covering his stomach protectively. He realized that while he knew a lot about Sirius' and Severus' backgrounds and childhoods, he knew literally nothing about Remus'. He knew that Sirius, while not abused, had come from a Dark family; Severus had been abused, like Shadow had been. But the way Remus was behaving with Romulus…that wasn't just abuse…that was deep and utter fear. Shadow's eyes hardened. He would find out what happened to Remus as a child. Even if it killed him…or got him grounded.

A/N: So…this chapter was actually supposed to be about Shadow's detention with toad face, but I guess that will have to be next chapter. Again, I apologize profusely for not updating that consistently. Writer's block sucks. I know that I changed my name (again) but it's mostly because I kinda just needed a fresh start. Anyway, I'm rambling. Also, if you want to find out what exactly Romulus did to Remus, you can check out my story about them entitled "Slave of Moonlight" it's only two chapters long but full of detail! Anyway (again) enough of my babbling! Read and review!

Luv,

GoM


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Up in the Lupin-Black private quarters, Remus excused himself and went in his bedroom to lie down. Shadow followed, after summoning a House Elf from the kitchen to bring them some lunch, much to Hermione's chagrin. He knocked softly on the door and entered when he heard nothing from inside. "Mama," he asked hesitantly as he entered the dark bedroom.

Remus was huddled in the middle of his and Sirius' king sized bed beneath the covers and hugging Sirius' pillow to his chest. Shadow furrowed his brows and frowned before sitting down on the bed, next to Remus. "Mama…"

"I'm jealous of you, Shadow." Remus said softly.

"Jealous? Of me? Why?" Shadow was confused and sat himself fully on the bed, crossing his legs as he faced Remus.

"Because you have parents who love you…you survived your abuse…you're brave…" Remus sobbed. "You're everything I'm not, Cub."

Shadow reached out and touched Remus' shoulder and rubbed his upper arm. "Mama, you are brave."

"If I were brave, I'd be able to stand up to my father…I did it once, I had just graduated. I'm scared of him, Shadow."

"Why? Mama, why are you scared of him? What happened?"

Remus rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand and sat up. Still hugging the pillow to his chest, he took in a shuddering breathe and began. "I was bitten by Fenrir Greyback when I was six years old. I had been playing at a park late at night with my parents and had managed to jump off of a swing and land in the woods that were on the outskirts of the park. I wandered around, trying to find my way out of the woods and got bit by, what I thought, was a big dog.

"Keep in mind, love, before this, my family life was perfect. My parents adored me, and I them." Remus' voice had taken on a haunting tone and his eyes had glazed over slightly as he recalled his childhood. "Anyway, my parents listened to me when I said it was a dog. My mom wanted to take me to St. Mungos, but Romulus disagreed, he said I was fine.

"One month later…I turned for the first time. This was before the invention of the Wolvesbane potion, so I was basically an animal. I don't remember anything from that night. All I know is that when I woke up the next morning…my mother…was dead. According to Romulus' yells, she died trying to protect me, a monster. It was actually Romulus' fault. He sent a curse, trying to kill me and my mother jumped in front of it to save me." Remus had a small smile on his face. "My mother loved me until the very end, whether I was a werewolf or not." Shadow smiled at this. He wishes his grandmother hadn't died…he thought he'd like her very much.

"Romulus…well, that night changed him. He started drinking heavily and threw himself into his work, as head of the Werewolf Capture Unit. I was no longer his child. I was basically his prisoner. I cooked his food, cleaned the house, and was often on the receiving end of a cutting charm," Remus fingered one of the scars that marred his otherwise handsome face. Shadow gasped. He had always assumed that he had gotten them during a transformation.

"He verbally and physically abused me, never breaking any bones, but I almost bled to death several times." Remus' voice was deadpan. "I lived on my own at the Three Broomsticks from fourth year onwards. This is the first time I've seen Romulus since he showed up at my graduation, at which he did nothing but belittle me. I stood up to him and actually managed to land in a few punches, but…now he's here again and I just feel like a scared child." Remus suddenly threw the pillow he had been holding across the room, which hit the wedding photo that was sitting on the desk, causing it to topple over and break.

Remus sighed and repaired the picture frame with magic before levitating it back to where it was previously. "Well, now you know about my childhood, Little One."

And all at once, Shadow understood why Remus babied him. Remus thought that Shadow went through the same treatment at the Dursley's and so, he babied him to make up for it. Shadow knew that while the abuse he received during his time at the Dursley's was bad, it was nowhere near as bad as the abuse Remus dealt with. However, being fifteen years old, Shadow wasn't sure how to convey all of these thoughts with words and so just did the only thing that seemed right. He hugged Remus with all of his might and just said "I love you, Mama." In saying those words, Shadow had told Remus what he had wanted to hear; that Romulus was wrong, that Remus was brave, that he wasn't a child, and most importantly that he was loved despite his past. Remus hugged Shadow back just as tightly, being mindful of his pregnant stomach that was wedged between them.

After several minutes, they pulled away. Shadow knew that lunch was almost over and he would have to leave for his next class soon, which was Charms. Before he left though, he gave Remus a quick kiss on the cheek. As he was heading towards the bedroom door however, he stopped. "Oh," he said, as if he was just now remembering something. "I won't be back here right after dinner," Shadow lied to his Mama through his teeth, and he felt horrible about it, especially after how honest Remus had just been with him. Remus simply tilted his head to the side and cocked an eyebrow. "Angelina wants to run Seeker drills with me tonight and tomorrow before practice actually starts." He had to add the tomorrow part as well, because that was when Angelina actually wanted to have the Seeker drills and he didn't feel like having to lie to Remus two days in a row.

"Oh, alright then," Remus stood carefully from the bed before straightening his robes. "I wish you'd quit that dangerous sport," Remus fussed. "But I know how happy it makes you so I'll hush about it…that is until you end up in the Hospital Wing again from getting hit with a bludger or who knows what else."

"Mama," Shadow laughed. "I get hurt more often because of things _not_ Quidditch related!"

"Cheeky little cub," Remus mumbled with a slight grin. "Now go to your next class before you're late!"

Shadow laughed as he walked out of the bedroom and back into the living room to meet back up with his friends and Draco. The four of them made their way to Charms in relative silence. The others wanted to know what Shadow and Remus had been talking about but Shadow only said it was personal, family stuff and left it at that. The only part he told them was that he fed Remus the lie and that Remus had bought it, hook, line, and sinker.

The second half of the day flew by, as it often does when one is not looking forward to something at the end of the day. Before Shadow knew it, he was finishing dinner and waving goodbye to his friends. He stopped to talk to Angelina on the way, to make it look like he was telling the girl he was heading to the pitch early. However, he just told Angelina that he had detention with Umbridge and if Remus asked how Seeker drills went tonight, to cover for him. The girl nodded with a smile and simply told him that he had still better show up for the real Seeker drills tomorrow.

Shadow finally made it up to Umbridge's office and knocked. When he received permission to enter, he opened the door, and found the fat toad sitting behind her desk drinking tea. Shadow almost did a double take when he entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts office. The last time he had been here was last year and it looked much different than now. The walls were bright pink and were adorned with plates of kittens on them. Shadow almost gagged at the girly-ness of it all and decided that, even though he was gay, when he got back to his dorm after detention he was going to do many manly things to try and get the girly off of him.

"Good evening, Mr. Lupin-Black," Umbridge smiled at him. It looked like it was attempting to be a sweet smile, but looked more demonic than anything. "Sit, please." She gestured to the seat across from her desk. Shadow sat and slumped down, sitting with his legs spread wide, like a man, dammit. Umbridge took note of his posture and her nostrils flared slightly. "You're going to be doing some lines for me today."

Shadow rolled his eyes and thought, _waste of my bloody time_, as he reached down for his bag to get out some parchment, ink, and a quill. "No!" Umbridge all but shrieked, causing Shadow to jump. "Not…Not with your quill," she said in a calmer voice, standing from her desk with something in her hand. "You're going to be using a very special one of mine." She put a pure black quill on the desk in front of Shadow.

Shadow glanced at it and shrugged. He didn't see why it mattered really, a quill was a quill. "Now, you're going to write 'I must not tell lies'."

Shadow gritted his teeth. "How many times?"

"As long as it takes for the message to sink in," she giggled slightly and it makes the hairs on the back of Shadow's neck raise.

"You haven't given me any ink," he stated, slightly annoyed by all of this.

"You won't be needing any ink." Umbridge sat back down behind her desk and folded her hands, watching him. "Begin, Mr. Lupin-Black." She took out some essays and began grading them, glancing up at him every now and then.

Shadow began to write the lines and noticed that the quill was similar to a Muggle pen and must have had its own supply of red ink inside of it somehow. As he was writing, the back of his right hand began to itch and tingle slightly. He ignored it. It wasn't until the fifteenth line or so that the tingle became more of a burning. He stopped writing the lines and glanced at the back of his hand.

He fought back an enraged shout as he saw the words "I must not tell lies" carved into the back of his hand. He looked down at the parchment in horror. He had been writing the lines with his own blood?! He felt like he was going to be sick.

"Is something wrong, Mr. Lupin-Black?" Umbridge's voice was overly sweet and made Shadow feel even sicker to his stomach.

Shadow inhaled deeply and said as calmly as possible. "No, Professor. Nothing."

Umbridge grinned slowly, looking like a deranged Cheshire cat. "That's right. Because deep down, you know you deserve to be punished for all of your horrible lies. Don't you?"

Shadow said nothing. He ignored her and continued writing his lines, ignoring the pain as he wrote. Umbridge let him go after about twenty more lines or so. In the hall, he stared at his bleeding hand in disgust. The cuts were deep. The message had definitely "sunk in". There would be scars on the back of his hand. As if he didn't need anymore.

Shadow sighed. He couldn't just stand there with his hand bleeding. So, he did the only smart thing he could; he squared his shoulders and marched up to the Gryffindor Tower to face Hermione and beg her to help him heal his hand. He would rather face Hermione's wrath than Remus'. Shadow shuddered. Yes, Hermione was definitely the lesser of two evils.

A/N: Okay! So I literally just finished this chapter and I love love love love LOVE it! Did I mention I love it? But I'm not gonna stop! NOOOOOOOOO! I'm gonna keep writing! As I type I'm already planning out chapter 16! THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING! Okay! Okay! So you did the reading part, now…now you have to…have to…oh damn, I know this…REVIEW! YEAH! That's it! You gotta review! Okay! So you review and I'm gonna write you guys chapter 16 and 17 and 18 and 18 *counting continues and fades off in the distance*. (This is what happens in my brain when I have coffee late at night.)

Luv,

GoM


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

"Oh!" Hermione squawked, quickly scrambling off of Ron's lap as Shadow entered through the Fat Lady's portrait. "Sh-Shadow! We weren't expecting you back from detention so soon!"

Ron's face and ears turned a brilliant shade of pink and he stood carefully, adjusting his trousers as he did so. "So…uh…" his voice had a breathy pitch to it and Shadow didn't need any more hints to realize what he had interrupted. Ron cleared his throat, "H-How did it go?"

"That bloody toad," Shadow seethed, thrusting his right hand into their faces, "Made me write lines with some quill that wrote with my own blood!"

The couple untangled from one another, shock apparent on both of their faces and Hermione gingerly grabbed Shadow's hand. "Shadow, you have to go to Dumbledore or your parents about this."

"No." Shadow jerked his hand away from Hermione, wincing as the movement tugged at the cuts. "I'm not giving her the satisfaction."

"Mate," Ron held his hands up, hoping to placate Shadow. "This isn't okay. Someone needs to know about this."

"Well the two of you know," Shadow grumbled. "Hermione, do you know anything that can heal these cuts fast?"

She sighed and gave Shadow a look that reminded him of Molly Weasley. "I do, and you're lucky I have some." She stood and went to the staircase that led to the girl's dormitory. "I still think you should tell a teacher," she glared at him before stomping up the stairs.

Shadow stared at the girl's staircase for a few minutes before looking at Ron. "If I tell a teacher it will get back to any of my parents; if that happens, Voldemort—" Shadow ignored Ron's twitch. "—won't get the chance to kill me, because they'll beat him to the punch."

Ron laughed weakly and scratched the back of his neck. "I know you have a point, mate. But this is downright abuse."

Shadow's eyes hardened, which Ron noticed, causing the redhead to gulp. "I've dealt with worse," Shadow said with his voice flat and void of any emotion. The sound sent a chill down Ron's spine and he was suddenly reminded how powerful and threatening Shadow could be.

"I found it!" Hermione called as she bounded down the stairs carrying a bowl, receiving glares from other students who were studying in the Common Room. She smiled sheepishly at them and continued to where Ron and Shadow were sitting. In the bowl were tentacles and a yellow liquid. "It's murtlap essence," she told Shadow. "Put your hand in the bowl and it will clean the cuts and help them heal."

Wrinkling his nose slightly, Shadow did as she said, hissing a little at the stinging of the murtlap. "How long do I have to soak my hand in this gunk?"

"Until it works," Hermione shrugged before turning to start on her homework.

"Thanks for the information," Shadow rolled his eyes with an amused smirk. Hermione tossed some wadded up parchment at him and smiled.

The three of them set to work on their homework; Shadow had to charm his quill—with Hermione's help, of course—so he could dictate his essays since he couldn't write. They worked in companionable silence, only really speaking to help one another with a problem or to offer suggestions or criticism on an essay line. Shadow managed to be the first one done with his work that was due tomorrow, as he didn't have to take a break because of his hand. "I might use that charm more often," he told the other two when they finished. "The writing looks exactly like mine and it's still my work, plus I get done a lot quicker."

"Will one of you teach me that spell?" Ron asked with a smile. The thing was that Ron was smart but he often got lost in a train of thought and usually said what he was thinking while he was writing essays anyway, so it could be beneficial for him.

"If only we were taught spells in DADA," Shadow muttered darkly. The other two nodded with a sour look on both of their faces.

**A/N: Yes, I know. I'm a bad person. I keep saying that I'll finally finish this story and just end up breaking everyone's hearts. I mean it this time. This story has been placed on the back-burner so many times because of tragedies that have happened in my life. I am going to finish writing it tonight and will update it as I write number six. Yes, for those of you who were worried, this series is not getting discontinued. I love it far too much to do that. As I type this A/N and following chapters I am watching OoTP to help me with the writing as I remember major plot points, but not exactly when they occur. So, I mean it this time. No more false hope. You will be getting more consistent updates. I promise.**

**Luv,**

**GoM**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Shadow was leaving Quidditch practice the following night when he saw a reptilian, winged horse leap from the trees of the Forbidden Forest. He watched it in awe as it flew high above the treetops before swan diving into the leafy depths below it. Shadow had never seen a creature like that before and his curiosity was piqued.

Foregoing dinner for the moment, he ran into the forest in the direction he saw the creature dive. No sound came from the forest other than the steady thumping of Shadow's feet hitting the ground. He slowed to a jog when his lungs began to scream for oxygen, which eventually slowed even further into a steady walk. The last time he had been in the forest as a human since his second year and his encounter with Aragog. A shudder ran up his spine and his steps quickened, eyes scanning the area for any roaming acromantulas.

Finally, after what felt like an hour of aimless wandering, Shadow entered a clearing. Inside the clearing was a small herd of those creatures and standing in the middle of the herd was Luna Lovegood. Shadow cocked his head and stared. However he wasn't staring at the creatures, he was staring at Luna's feet.

"Luna, you don't have any shoes on. Aren't your feet cold?"

"A bit." Her hair swished slightly as she turned to look at him with her ever present smile. Shadow stepped beside her hesitantly, which put him directly in front of one of the creatures. "All of my shoes have disappeared." Standing on her toes she whispered into Shadow's ear, "I suspect the nargals are behind it."

Luna stared at the creature, which had begun to walk away and canter around the clearing huffing and snorting in a content way. Shadow watched the display as well; entranced by the graceful way it moved. It reminded him a bit of the Pegasus' Madam Maxime brought with her last year. But those were the color of an autumn sky; these creatures looked as though they were forged in the fires of hell.

Despite their appearance, Shadow wasn't afraid of them. As he watched them, he saw a kind, gentle, and playful nature. "What are they?" Shadow finally asked Luna, breaking their long silence.

"Thestrals," she told him. "They pull the carriages. They're very misunderstood creatures as they can only be seen by people who have witnessed death." A young colt trotted up to Luna and began sniffing at her bag. She pulled out an apple and rolled it onto the ground for the colt to eat. "People avoid them because of the way they look. They fear them, because they don't understand." Shadow almost laughed as the colt spat out the apple and Luna tossed it a piece of raw meat—where she got it, Shadow didn't ask. "Kind of like werewolves," Luna's eyes bore into Shadow's and he knew that she both knew about him, and would not tell anyone.

Shadow sat down on the ground and continued watching the colt as it happily gobbled up the meat. "You said they can be seen only by people who have seen death." Luna nodded, sitting down next to him, tucking her feet underneath her as she did. "You've known someone who has died?"

Luna played with her hair and nodded a bit. "My mum. She died when I was nine. An experiment of hers went wrong and she was caught in the crossfire. She was quite extraordinary," her head tilted towards the sky above them and she closed her eyes, smile still on her face.

Shadow placed a hand on hers. "I'm sorry, you must miss her."

"Very much," she did not look at him; she kept her eyes closed and her head tilted upwards. "I do have my Dad though, so I'm not totally alone." She suddenly stood up and held a hand out for Shadow to take.

He took it and allowed her to hoist him up, knowing he was not hiding his shock at the sudden movement very well. "We both believe you, by the way." They began walking back to the castle. Shadow noted that Luna was walking very gingerly and was very angry at whoever thought it'd be a good idea to steal this sweet girl's shoes. "Dad and I, I mean. About everything you and Dumbledore say."

Shadow just nodded with a soft smile, happy that people other than his friends, the Order, and his parents believed him. They continued their walk in silence. At the edge of the forest, Luna turned to him once more. "And even if I didn't believe you at first, I would now. Because of the thestrals."

She smiled and began humming. Before she could turn to leave, Shadow grabbed at her wrist. "Wait," he began rummaging in his school bag that was slung over his shoulder. Hermione had given him some socks she had knitted for the kitchen's house elves; she wanted him to give them to Dobby and Winky. Shadow felt they had more use here, though. "I want you to have these." He handed her both pairs of socks, one pair was a vibrant purple with yellow stripes, and the other was blue with gray and red polka dots. "They'll at least protect your feet a little bit."

Luna's smile widened when she saw the gaudy socks. "Thank you, Shadow." She stood on her now blue toes and kissed him on the cheek before sitting on a rock and putting one of each pair on her feet. She then skipped happily back up to the castle, leaving a very amused Shadow behind her.

Shadow finally made it to dinner a bit late. He stifled a guffaw at the twin looks of disgust on Hermione and Ginny's faces as Ron stuffed himself with food. Nodding in greeting, he sat down next to Hermione and, just as he was about to tuck in, he heard Professor Umbridge croaking out in the Entrance Hall. Everyone who was in the Great Hall rose in unison and rushed to the doors to see what was going on.

Professors McGonagall and Umbridge were confronting one another on the steps leading up to the staircases. "What exactly are you insinuating, Minerva?"

"Nothing. I am simply requesting that when it comes to _my_ students you adhere to the disciplinary methods that are already in place in this school!" McGonagall's severe and elegant profile towered over Umbridge's stout and round one. McGonagall was a mother lioness and no outsider messed with any of her cubs.

Shadow turned and looked at Ron and Hermione who averted their gazes. He narrowed his eyes. They told. He risked a glance back at Remus, Sirius, and Severus who all looked taken aback by the confrontation, which caused a sigh of relief to escape Shadow's lips. His three parents had no idea that he had detention with Umbridge nor about the incident.

"Well," Umbridge shrieked haughtily. "It sounds to me like you're questioning my authority in my own classroom." Umbridge stumbled up a step, in a feeble attempt to make it look as though she was towering over McGonagall.

"Only your medieval methods," McGongall barked out.

Shadow shook his head and pushed through the throng of people back into the Great Hall. From the Gryffindor table he could hear Umbridge on her soapbox proclaiming that McGonagall was disloyal to the Ministry, the situation at Hogwarts was worse than she or Minster Fudge had imagined, and that the Minister would want to take immediate and drastic action.

A scowl appeared on Shadow's face as he tightened his right hand into a fist, making his new scars prominent. Yes, the situation at Hogwarts was far worse than imagined. But it was the Ministry's entire fault. He was honestly worried what their new interference tactic would consist of.

Shadow had every right to be worried, as it wasn't long before Umbridge had been named the High Inquisitor by the Minister and was making all of these insane educational decrees. She was inspecting each and every teacher on the staff. Wherever she went, her toadies Filch and Romulus were behind her and more than happy to do her twisted bidding "in the name of the Ministry." She even formed an Inquisitorial Squad, which was a way for students to spy on their classmates for any and all infractions. The Squad mostly consisted of Slytherins but a few pressured Ravenclaws were in it, as well.

Shadow, Ron, Hermione, and Draco were fuming about these decrees and the state of the school. They knew that they weren't the only ones who felt the same as they, as there were whispers through every house that students were fed up with their situation with Umbridge. "We need someone who can properly teach us," Hermione raged to the other three, for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"Who could teach us, Hermione?" Ron asked with no emotion in his voice; this conversation had been had so many times that everyone knew their lines by heart. Hermione would suggest Remus or Sirius, and Shadow would say "They're busy with their own jobs. Plus Mama's in no condition right now." Draco would nod, supporting Shadow and verbally wonder who they could possibly find.

No one informed them that Hermione decided to change the script. "Shadow."

"What," the three boys exclaimed.

"Shadow is the perfect teacher. Think about all that he's accomplished while here!" Hermione was practically vibrating with excitement.

"You're right, Mione!" Ron cheered, "He saved the philosopher's stone from Quirrell in first year!"

"Oh oh!" Hermione jumped up and down, pointing at Shadow. "And he saved Ginny from the basilisk—that he killed!—in second year!"

"Guys—" Shadow tried.

"Don't forget he managed to call Fawkes to him and draw the sword of Gryffindor from the sorting hat, love," Ron added for her.

"He was indirectly responsible for Sirius being set free," Hermione had her hand up and was ticking off the things that Shadow had done.

"Guys—"

"Not to mention all of last year…" Draco piped up quietly, holding Shadow's hand in his.

"GUYS!" Shadow finally screamed, wrenching his hand away from Draco as he panted. The other three stared blankly at him as they waited patiently for what he had to say. "Look, I appreciate that you think I'm good enough to teach you but…all of those things…they happened because of luck. Not my skill."

"Come off it!" Draco snapped. "Look at who your parents are. Remus was one of the best Defense instructors this school has ever seen, plus an accomplished duelist, a Marauder, and a certified genius. Sirius is a high ranking Auror, also an accomplished duelist, and a Marauder." Shadow tried to interrupt Draco but closed his mouth when the blond glared. "Oh, were you going to say that Sirius is technically your step-dad? Way ahead of you." Draco pitched his voice lower, on the off chance that they would be heard. "Severus has worked for years as a spy for the Order, a master of Occlumency and Legilimency, another accomplished duelist, and one of the most deceptive people I've ever met." Draco smirked, crossing his arms over his chest in triumph. "That wasn't luck, Shads. It was your genetics and skill."

Shadow bowed his head slightly, blush burning on his cheeks. Draco was right, he could admit that. It was hard not to see it when he had his parents abilities laid out in front of him. Magic was just like any other gene in one's body, the stronger the magical gene in both parents, the stronger the magic in the offspring. Shadow had no choice. "If—and this is a big if—you can find others willing to be taught DADA by me…I'll do it. But we'll need to find somewhere to do this in secret. If Umbridge found out…"

"Well…" It was Hermione's turn to blush. "As it turns out we were sort of banking that you'd agree…we've already found quite a few people who want you to teach them." Hermione pulled out a list and passed it to Shadow.

He felt his eyes widen as he scanned the list of names. "Bloody hell," he gasped. "That's more than quite a few, Hermione." The girl shrugged and took the list back from Shadow.

"The cold hard truth is," Hermione's voice was no longer excited but quiet, calm, and serious. "V-Voldemort," Shadow felt his eyes widen and stared at Hermione with pride as the other two flinched. She had never said Voldemort's name before. "Is back. We need to be prepared for what's out there. We need a teacher." Her eyes bore into Shadow's. "We need you."

"Heh," Shadow's voice cracked. "What else is new?"

**A/N: I know this deviates a little from the book/movie about how the DA was formed, but I feel like, with how my story is progressing, it fits. Plus it is AU, so… Anyways, I hope you all like it. Please read and review!**

**Luv,**

**GoM**

**P.S. Told you I'd update more often! :P**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

That weekend was a Hogsmead weekend, and Hermione had spread the word around to the people on the list that they would meet in secret at a secluded pub in the village. So that left Shadow with the tricky task of ditching his parents, who had decided to go out with him that weekend and spend some family time together, as well as getting some Christmas shopping done. Remus, being only a month or two shy of his due date, was now very obviously pregnant and it was obvious that he was carrying twins. He didn't get much time out of the castle these days and, with it being so close to the holidays, decided this was probably his only chance to do so.

Shadow, on his part, was fairly impatient as they meandered through the various shops in the village. It was as he was watching his parents debating over two basically identical cribs that he finally lost it; it being roughly a week shy until the full moon, didn't exactly help his mood. Remus, in pregnant, non-transforming bliss, seemed to have forgotten the irritability that pre-transformation can cause. "Can I go now?" Shadow finally snapped, rolling his eyes heavily and flopping his arms down to his sides.

Both Sirius and Remus turned and stared at him. "Is there somewhere more important you need to be?" Remus asked his voice overly sweet, a very bad sign.

Shadow blanched and took a small step back, although he did stand his ground. "I just don't see why I have to be here when you guys are picking out stuff for the twins. This is more of a parent activity than something to include the older sibling in. It's your final say, right?" He leaned against a shelf fairly close to him, crossing one foot over the other and jamming his hands into his pockets. "Besides, wouldn't be easier to shop for one another if I weren't with you?" He glanced at his watch. "Besides, Hermione, Ron, and Draco wanted me to meet up with them soon."

Before Remus could protest, and by the look on his face, he fully intended to make his feelings known, Sirius spoke up. "Go ahead, kiddo. I'm guessing watching us debate over this kind of stuff is pretty boring for you. Wait till it's your own kid though; you'll enjoy every second of it!" Sirius winked.

"He will not be having a child of his own before he's graduated and finished with his masteries, Sirius!" Remus sounded completely appalled at the mere thought.

"I'm sorry, when did you get your DADA mastery, Remus?" Sirius had a smug smirk on his face.

Remus blushed. "February of 1981…" He ground out. "Shut up!" He bit out when Sirius started snickering.

"I just find it funny you'd say that considering you didn't get your first mastery until Shadow was seven months old." Shadow left after that, shaking his head in mild amusement. His life definitely wasn't boring with those two as parents.

Still…Shadow placed a hand on his stomach in deep thought. He had inherited the lycanthropy from Remus, which meant he also had the ability to bear children. Granted, in the Wizarding World, it was possible for wizards to get pregnant; however it usually required a potion and several spells in order for it to work. But he could conceive a child the same way a woman could, with his magic creating a womb in which the fetus would grow.

Remus had taken him aside about a week ago and had explained all of this to him. All of these things Remus had to find out on his own. Shadow, while happy to receive vital information, had blushed so deeply that he was convinced his face would never go back to its original shade. Nonetheless, the information was accepted with much gratitude on Shadow's part. Along with more embarrassment when Remus taught him a contraceptive spell. The man's words of warning still rang within Shadow's ears: "Whoever you decide to be with, be they magical or not, make sure you always—_always_—use this spell. Because the man you're with might not think about using protection. And…make sure that they'll stay…if you do end up pregnant."

Shadow shook his head to clear it as he neared the Hogs Head, the pub he'd be meeting everyone. They had chosen this particular pub because it was well off the path frequented by students…and chaperoning faculty. As such, there would be fewer chances of being caught.

He entered the dimly lit pub and noticed that it was empty, save for the bartender, a goat, and a few old warlocks. It wasn't hard to locate his group. They were all squeezed into a large, secluded booth near the back. His pace slowed as he crossed the straw strewn floor and felt the mildest twinge of panic. Were those the twins he saw near the back? And Lee Jordan? What were they doing here?! They were two years older than him! He scanned the crowd once more and noticed not onlyThere was no bloody way he was going to do this! No matter how much Hermione, Ron, and Draco begged! His eyes darted about, searching for an escape route.

Draco, who had been sitting near the front of the group, noticed Shadow getting ready to bolt. He stood quickly and was at Shadow's side within three steps. He wound one arm around the Gryffindor's shoulders and led him to the group. "You aren't getting out of this," the blond murmured into his ear. "So Gryffindor up." Sapphire eyes glared at him and he rolled his eyes, nudging Shadow forward and resumed his seat.

He stood there awkwardly, his peers staring at him, waiting for something. Shifting his weight, Shadow covered his scar with his onyx colored hair. He cleared his throat several times and he could tell that the others were getting impatient. Finally, Hermione stood up and joined him.

"H-Hello," she said, raising her hand in a small wave. "Thank you all for coming here." Several people coughed, others tapped their feet impatiently. "So…right. No use beating around the bush, is there? You're all here for one reason: we need someone who can teach us to defend ourselves. We need someone with a real talent in the subject; who has had experience defending themselves on their own, against the dark arts, and against Voldemort himself." Shadow and Hermione watched as everyone, even Draco, flinched at the name.

"Why?" A Hufflepuff, Shadow believed his name was Zacharias Smith, called out from the group.

"Because You-Know-Who is back, you bloody prat!" Ron snapped from the front row.

"Oh yeah? Where's the proof? Besides what he and Dumbledore say. There isn't any proof out there, is there?" A few people murmured in agreement with what Zacharias said.

Shadow lowered his head and took a deep breath. He knew that now had to be the time where he opened up about last year, more than just to Dumbledore and his parents. He had been in therapy for this for months, and the sessions had diminished greatly, although he was still taking Occlumency lessons from Snape as the nightmares were still present (thankfully the bedwetting had finally stopped). His progress had been slow initially, which was expected. It wasn't until recently that he finally was able to admit that the events were not his fault, that they had been set into motion by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. He was the target, the victim, the survivor.

Standing fully upright, he opened his closed eyes to stare at his audience. His eyes were hard and determined and his posture made him look larger than he actually was. A few people looked taken aback by the sudden change in the usually quiet, bookish Gryffindor. They were reminded of the boy who by now was a mere wisp of memory from two or three years ago. The boy they believed to be their savior: Harry Potter. And it was in that moment that these students, gathered in a small, crowded corner of a secluded pub, were reminded that Shadow _was_ that boy.

"I'm not going to lie to you," Shadow's voice was strong and carried over the group. Draco could hear the resemblance to Remus as his boyfriend spoke. "Most of my accomplishments: the philosopher's stone, killing the basilisk, saving my dad, last year, and even being able to conjure a Patronus…they all happened by luck. I almost always had help along the way." A chuckle escaped him. "And no, I'm not being modest.

"What's out there, beyond these wards, it isn't like how it is in a classroom. You can't just try again tomorrow if you don't get it. When you're a second from being murdered or…or watching a friend die…right in front of you…You don't know what that's like. And I don't want any of you to know what that's like, but…you need to understand this isn't easy. You need to make decisions in an instant that could literally cost you your life."

He shrugged a bit and shoved his hands in his pockets; Ron thought he looked an awful lot like Sirius. "I'm not going to talk about what happened to Cedric Diggory." Cho Chang, Cedric's Yule Ball date, had tears running down her cheeks. Though he didn't know the girl very well, Shadow didn't want to ruin her last memory of him. "Some of you were close to him. He was a great person and friend. Also he was a very bright student. Like Dumbledore said last year, saying he died in an accident would be an insult to his memory." Shadow paused and swallowed a bit around the lump forming in his throat before continuing. "But I don't want to insult his memory by telling you exactly how it happened. A Hogwarts student was murdered for no reason. No reason other than he got in Voldemort's way."

"So, tell me," Shadow turned his hard eyes to Zacharias. "What more proof do you need?"

The group was awed by Shadow's speech and didn't say a word when he finished. Hermione had chills run up and down her spine, Shadow's question to Zacharias, the tone he used…made him sound just like Professor Snape.

She shook herself a little and stepped forward. "Shadow's right. If we're going to have any chance standing up against Voldemort, we need to be prepared for what's out there…not just for our examinations." Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a long piece of parchment and a quill and placed it in the center of the table in front of the group. "Those of you who are still interested in being taught some real defense…write down your names."

Hermione collected the sheet as the last person left the pub. With a smug smile on her face, she passed the parchment to Ron. Ron snorted and handed it off to Draco. Draco stared at the parchment and Shadow looked on over his shoulder.

Everyone who had showed up put their names on the list.

**A/N: So hooray! We have formed the DA. I really liked this chapter and how it flowed. I also loved how I managed to compare Shadow to each of his parents as he gave his speech. Anyway! I know I have given you guys' empty promises before about being better about updating. And I apologize deeply for it and would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for being so supportive and not giving up on this story. As always I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Read and review!**

**Luv,**

**GoM**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

There was one thing Hermione didn't think about before she started planning all of this. And that was a place for them to practice without being caught. Even with the Marauder's Map in Shadow's possession, it was difficult to hide a large group of students casting defensive and offensive magic. Especially when this whole endeavor was supposed to be secret.

Ginny had initially suggested the Shrieking Shack; however that was out since Shadow needed the Shack intact. Not to mention the place just simply wasn't large enough to accommodate everyone. Plus, many of the students believed it to be haunted by evil ghosts and were hesitant to go there once, let alone on a regular basis.

The twins suggested that Shadow ask Remus if they could utilize his classroom. Their reasoning was that the History of Magic class was the largest classroom currently in use. Shadow had turned down the idea immediately; he didn't want Remus to get involved with this. Mainly because the teen was convinced his Mama would think it dangerous and demand he stop. Also because the classroom itself, while on the first floor and nowhere close to Umbridge's office or classroom, was close to both Filch's and Romulus' offices. And those two would summon the fuchsia wearing toad the instant they suspected a coup.

Shadow was sitting in his chair in the main room of the Lupin-Black quarters later that same evening; reading from the Shakespeare's Works Severus had gotten him for his birthday. He had his legs curled up underneath him and the book propped up on the arm of the chair, his chin rested in the palm of one hand and his long, ebony hair was obscuring his face. He was in the middle of _Twelfth Night_, one of his favorite plays.

He was so engrossed in the words of the bard that he hadn't noticed Remus entering the quarters. Remus smiled softly at his son and silently approached him. He crossed his arms over his chest, resting them on the swell of his stomach, and chuckled. "How can you even see the words with your hair in your face like that?"

"Bloody—er…I mean," Shadow smiled sheepishly at Remus' raised eyebrow. "You surprised me. How are you able to enter a room without making any sound?"

"Because I'm not clumsy like you," Remus grunted a bit as he managed to sit down on the couch near Shadow. "I cannot wait until this pregnancy is over, Cub." The thirty-five year old professor allowed his head to drop and rest against the back of the couch. "I know I'm not old, by wizard standards, but this pregnancy is taking a lot out of me." The man closed his tired eyes and rubbed them with the heels of his hands. "Three kids are enough in my opinion."

Shadow pushed his hair out of his face, tucking some strands behind his ears. He took the opportunity to really look at Remus; the man definitely looked exhausted, his skin was pale and he had bags under his eyes, indicating a lack of sleep. He also noticed that Remus' hands shook slightly now, though the teen wasn't exactly sure what the cause was for that. _Perhaps it's Moony getting anxious about when the new cubs will be born?_

"Mama?" Remus grunted to let him know he had his attention. "May I ask you something? It might be a sensitive subject, so you can say no."

Remus opened one blue eye and stared at Shadow. Sighing softly, he sat up a little straighter and leaned forward. "You know you can ask me anything, Shadow-boy. I'll answer you to the best of my abilities."

"Okay…this is something I've been curious about for some time now." He watched Remus carefully as he spoke; Sirius had told him not to get the man too riled, in case it caused him to go into labor pre-maturely. The man looked relaxed and calm, although Remus had always been a master of schooling his features and exuding a calm presence. He was definitely the most difficult to read out of his three parents.

"Harry Potter…" Shadow said the name slowly; it was now foreign on his tongue and felt strange to say. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus stiffen a bit before he relaxed again, though the posture was definitely more rigid than it had been a moment ago. "Never existed."

"That's correct," Remus' reply was short, as if he wanted to end the conversation now.

"Right." Shadow continued. This was something he had been curious about since last year. "But…why did he need to exist in the first place?"

Remus sighed again and his face contorted slightly, as though he had just tasted something bitter. "I should have known this conversation would happen sooner or later…" He rubbed at his face with his hands and then carded them through his gray streaked hair. "For a long time…up until January of 1985, it was against the law for werewolves to—this is their term, not mine—breed or have any children."

"Wait," Shadow interrupted. "Are you saying that I was born…illegally?"

Remus nodded. "Technically? Yes, as you were born in 1980." Remus tightened both hands into fists, knuckles going white. "Before the law was changed in 1985, any child born to at least one werewolf parent was taken and…'put to sleep.'"

"They killed them?!" Shadow blanched and couldn't help his shout of outrage. "How could they do that?! Those infants were innocent! There was a chance that they wouldn't even inherit the lycanthropy gene!"

"The Ministry wasn't going to take that chance." Remus' eyes were swimming with unshed tears and he stared into Shadow's dark eyes. "I didn't want that to happen to you." Shadow reached out and grabbed his maternal figure's hand, squeezing it tightly. "So, I went to Dumbledore, who had always sought werewolf equality, shortly after I found out I was pregnant. He came up with the idea of you, publically anyway, being James' and Lily's son, as I had already intended to name them the godparents anyway. After you were born, you had glamor charms placed on you, to make you look like the child of James and Lily. Only those who knew the truth saw you as you truly were.

"Only the Order members knew the truth. Dumbledore took on the difficult task of mass memory modification, to make the rest of the wizarding world believe that Lily had been pregnant. It worked perfectly, and on the 'official' birth certificate I and Sirius were named Harry Potter's godparents.

"You were born here at Hogwarts because Poppy knew of the plan and we trusted her. Going to St. Mungo's would have resulted in my immediate arrest and you being taken from me the minute you were born. The public believed that Harry Potter was born the same day James and Lily were married, truly romantic. Everyone believed the boy to actually exist, and they visited us often, so people saw them with you. This further solidified their belief in the whole ruse."

"But wait…" Shadow had listened intently as Remus told him this grisly bit of information. Shadow gulped, truly grateful that his Mama had been so determined to see Shadow survive. "If you and dad were listed as my…uh, Harry's…holy Merlin this is confusing…anyway, if you and dad were listed as the godparents…how come I was sent to the Dursley's?"

"Well, Sirius had been arrested and found guilty, which was utter bullshit." Shadow's eyes widened to hear Remus curse. "And, because of the law, I wasn't allowed to be a guardian of any child. Hagrid had waited for Sirius and I as long as he could, but had to leave because Ministry officials were heading his way. With Sirius found guilty immediately, and my lycan status, Dumbledore had no other option than to give you to your 'mother's' closest living relative."

"What about when the law was changed? Why couldn't you get me then?" Shadow felt his shoulders droop as he quietly asked this question.

"You need to believe that I tried to, honey." Remus gripped Shadow's two hands tightly in his own. "But, just because the law was overturned, didn't mean that they would make it easy on werewolves to adopt or take guardianship over children. I filed four separate times, each time the files were mysteriously 'lost'. And I was forced to refile." Shadow was pulled into a tight hug, which he returned just as fiercely.

It was some time before the two separated and resumed their previous positions. It was silent for some time, Remus was trying to reign in his resentment, anger, and depression and Shadow was processing the information. Finally Shadow broke the silence. "So, third year…on the train…you knew who I was immediately, didn't you?"

Remus smiled sadly and nodded. "I did. It was strange to see you so old…but I would have known who you were, even if I didn't recognize my own features or Severus' in you. Your scent would have alerted Moony instantly."

Shadow nodded in understanding. While confusing, it made sense in a way. It definitely made sense that the Ministry was—once again—the cause of the horrible things that had happened in his life. Remus glanced at the clock on the wall. "You should start heading down for dinner, Cub."

"Okay," Shadow shrugged and marked his page in his book. Before he left the quarters though, Shadow stopped to hug Remus one last time. "Thank you," was all he whispered to the man before heading out the door.

Dinner was a relatively quiet affair, Shadow not really being in any mood to talk after the conversation he had had with Remus. He glanced at the High Table and noted that, once again, Remus had chosen to dine in their quarters. Ever since the altercation with Romulus, Remus very rarely left the living quarters anymore, on the off-chance he'd run into the man on his own again. Shadow glared at his grandfather, which resulted in a meager glare returned to him. The boy rolled his eyes at the pitiful attempt and returned to his food.

Shadow was just about to start dessert when the doors of the Great Hall opened and Neville came rushing to the table. "Guys," he whispered excitedly. "I've found us a place!"

**A/N: The explanation has finally come! Now we know why he was thought to be Harry Potter. This chapter has been a long time coming, but I couldn't find anywhere it really seemed to fit in the story. I decided that it'd fit perfectly here and scrapped my initial chapter nineteen. As always, read and review!**

**One last thing! Fans of this series, check out my profile because I have a poll up about possibly revising the first two and would love your opinions!**

**Luv,**

**GoM**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

The place Neville ended up finding was the rumored Room of Requirement. Once the place was established, Shadow, Ron, Draco, and Hermione, set about the process of letting everyone know where exactly the place was. And, most importantly, how to get into it. Hermione also managed to create a clever way of notifying the members about a meeting.

"Look," she said, pulling out a large handful of galleons and placing them on the library table the four of them were gathered at. "These are special for our group."

Draco grabbed one out of the pile and inspected it. "What's so special about it?"

"They have a charm on them. When one of us," she gestured to the four of them, "grips it tightly, the rest will heat up." She demonstrated by gripping a galleon tightly in her fist and the others on the table began to glow slightly as they heated up.

Draco nodded, clearly impressed. "Brilliant. How can you guarantee people won't accidentally spend it though?"

"See how there's a dent on them?" Shadow pointed out the slight divot in each coin. Draco and Ron nodded in unison. "I…uh…I did that."

Ron cocked his head to the side, confused. "What do you mean that you did that?"

Shadow's cheeks turned a light pink. "I bit them."

Draco and Ron both blinked rapidly at the admission. "How did you not crack a tooth?!" Ron squawked, earning a glare from Madam Pince.

Shadow smiled, revealing his slightly larger canine teeth. "One of the perks of having a—" he glanced around the library and pitched his voice lower "—furry little problem. My canine teeth are tough, even when it isn't my time of the month.

"So the slight divot, which is obvious enough to feel and see, is kind of a marker to let people know to not spend this galleon." Shadow shrugged slightly.

Draco and Ron were once again impressed by the brilliance Shadow and Hermione showed. They each gathered were handed some galleons from the pile and each person was in charge of handing them out to the other members of their group. They needed to make sure everyone on the list got them by the end of the day.

Shadow wanted the meetings to start before the holiday break and that was only a few weeks away. He also still needed to decide how many meetings he wanted to hold per week because once wasn't going to be enough. The only complicated part was configuring around everyone's class schedules and extracurricular activities. Weekends were out, because most people who wanted Shadow to teach were third years or higher and would want to go to Hogsmead on certain weekends.

Ron clapped his shoulder, as if sensing what was on Shadow's mind. "You'll figure it out, mate. You're a master at organizing." Shadow grinned at him, but still wasn't entirely convinced.

The rest of the group stood to leave shortly after that, Ron and Hermione had prefect duties to attend to and Draco had Quidditch practice. Shadow remained in the library, with the group members' time-tables spread out in front of him. Ron and Hermione waved goodbye, Ron giving him a thumbs-up, before walking away hand in hand, and Draco gave him a soft, lingering kiss on the lips. "I'll come back and help you after practice if you want."

"I'm hoping to be finished with this by then…If I don't meet you outside of the Pitch, come here because that probably means I'm still neck deep in schedules." Shadow scowled at the piles of parchment in front of him, causing Draco to chuckle before walking off with his hand raised in a parting gesture.

He ran a hand over his face and sighed. "Okay…let's start by sorting by year and house…" Once he got started he found that the process wasn't nearly as painful as he thought it'd be. He pulled out a long strip of parchment and turned it into a large time table, dividing it up into hour blocks and days. He then took smaller squares of parchments, color coded them by house, and labeled them with a group member's name and availability.

Once that task was done, he was able to see openings much easier than just trying to remember everything. And there, on Wednesdays and Fridays at six o'clock in the evening, everyone was available. Everyone was finished with classes by four and some other extracurricular activities by five, so that meant it gave everyone enough time to still eat dinner before each meeting. Shadow felt as though he could cry tears of joy. They had a place to meet, a way to contact group members, and now a meeting time.

Shadow sighed in relief. As today was Monday, they would be able to start their meetings this coming Wednesday. This also gave Ron, Hermione, Draco, and himself enough time to hand out the galleons. He carefully rolled up the large, color coded time table and put it into his bag. He had noticed that there had only been one green square on the entire time table, that square being Draco's.

He had hoped that his dating Draco would end some of the animosity between the two houses, but that was not the case at all. If anything, it sparked further disputes, especially when Pansy Parkinson was involved. It saddened him that most of the Slytherins seemed to have fallen into Umbridge's slimy clutches, much to Severus' secret disapproval.

He glanced at his watch and saw that Draco's Quidditch practice would be ending in about twenty minutes. This gave him plenty of time to make it down to the Pitch before Draco started looking for him here.

As he was heading out of the library, he saw something large and silver running toward him. He stopped instantly when he noticed it was his dad's grim patronus. "Get to the Hospital Wing!" the figure exclaimed in his dad's voice. "Remus is in labor!"

**A/N: Yes, it's short. And yes, I'm evil because I left it on a cliff-hanger. But! But! Next chapter is the birth of the twins! Yes, I'm aware that it is currently late November/early December and thus he is early. HOWEVER this is a common occurrence with twins. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Don't forget to check out my profile and vote on whether I should revise the first two stories! As always review!**

**Luv,**

**GoM**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

When Shadow burst into the Hospital Wing, he was surprised by the calm that was in the room. Remus was lying in a bed, feet propped in the air with stirrups and Sirius was sitting in a chair next to him, chatting. "Hey, kiddo!" Sirius called, waving to him.

Shadow blinked for a few seconds before walking over to the bed. "What's with that face, cub?" Remus laughed slightly.

"I just…this isn't what I was expecting…It's just…it seemed too calm." Shadow scratched the back of his head, ruffling his hair up a bit.

His parents looked at each other and shrugged. "We learned the last time, cub. No point in freaking out over it."

Shadow for some reason blushed as Remus spoke. Sirius nodded his head, holding onto Remus' hand. "They'll get here when they get here. Freaking out won't make them hurry."

The three heard the door of the Hospital Wing open with a soft creak and they each directed their attention to it. Severus stood in the doorway, looking both intimidating and a little nervous, if only in his eyes. "Am I welcome this time?" The question was soft and the man's black eyes bore into Remus'. Both Shadow and Sirius looked away from the two men. Shadow because he clearly understood that Severus had not been welcome at his own birth. Sirius because he clearly remembered threatening the same man he now considered a close friend.

Finally, after a long moment of silence, Remus nodded. The lycan kept his eyes trained on his and Sirius' linked hands. "You're a part of this family, Severus. Think you can handle this much Gryffindor influence?"

Severus smirked as he walked over and placed his long, pale hand on Shadow's head, ruffling the long hair even more. "I believe there is some Slytherin in this one," he gave his son a small, proud smile. "There may be hope for the rest of you."

"The hat wanted to put me in Slytherin, you know." Shadow stated matter-of-factly.

Three pairs of eyes widened visibly. "What?!" Sirius looked horrified. "Our son was almost a Slytherin!?"

"You're aware of who my birth father is, right?" Shadow guffawed at the look on Sirius' face as he gestured at Severus.

The family remained in amicable silence for a while, breaking the silence with some side conversations, or when Remus had a strong contraction. Only Madam Pomfrey interrupted occasionally to check on Remus. "This isn't anywhere near as painful as it was the first time," Remus panted out after another contraction had passed. Sirius flexed his hand with a grimace but was smart and said nothing.

Shadow soon learned that the calm that he experienced when he walked in was the calm before the storm.

Madam Pomfrey came over after Remus had a particularly long, harsh contraction. She checked between his legs, where his magic had formed a birth canal, and clucked her tongue. "Remus, I'm sorry you simply aren't dilated wide enough. I'm going to have to attempt to snag a water bag, and hope that it speeds this process along."

Remus' eyes bugged out as his face paled. "Snag a—? Is that a medical term?!"

The matron rolled her eyes slightly and pursed her lips. "Do you not trust me, Mister Lupin?"

Remus blushed and averted his gaze downwards. "I trust you, Poppy."

The woman nodded once sharply and went over to her medical cupboard. She rummaged within it for a moment and returned quickly, holding an object that resembled a knitting needle. "Lovely," she said. "This may sting a little." With that note, Poppy disappeared under the sheet that was covering Remus' propped legs.

Shadow winced and covered his eyes with his hands, even though he wasn't able to see the activity itself. Remus let out a brief cry of shock and pain and just like that, Poppy reappeared, a frown on her face. "What's wrong?" Sirius' voice wavered a bit and definitely lacked some color in his face.

After disposing of the needle, Poppy sighed heavily, brow furrowed in worry. "There is no liquid remaining."

"What does that mean?" Shadow had never seen that look on Madam Pomfrey's face before and felt his heart tighten at the sight.

Severus, Sirius, Remus, and Poppy all turned and stared at Shadow, as though they had completely forgotten he was in the room. "Come," Severus rested a long hand on his son's shoulders with an arm wrapped around him, and attempted to lead him towards the door. "This isn't something you need to be here for."

Shadow shrugged off the arm and turned away from Severus. "I'm a part of this family too. I have a right to know."

Poppy shifted her eyes to Remus and Sirius, knowing that they had the final say in whether or not Shadow was allowed to stay. Sirius, hand gripping Remus' so tightly that his knuckles were white, opened his mouth to speak. He was however cut off by Remus. "Shadow, listen to your father." The man's voice was very tight, as though he was holding back the urge to cry or yell. Or perhaps both.

"Okay." Shadow shrugged and looked at Sirius. "Dad?"

"No," Remus' voice cracked out like a whip. "Listen to your _father_."

Sirius' shoulders slumped and he clamped his mouth shut, overall he looked both hurt and sullen at Remus' statement. He now understood where he stood on the parental hierarchy when it came to Shadow; Remus was at the top, Severus was next, and Sirius was at the bottom. He angrily remembered an occasion in which Severus was not even involved. It didn't seem to matter at all to Remus that Sirius had been in Shadow's life longer than Severus, technically.

The room remained quiet for several seconds after Remus spoke. Shadow's eyes kept flicking between Sirius and Severus with uncertainty. He wanted to stay, but at the same time, he knew better than to not listen to Remus, especially when he was obviously this distressed. "Now, Shadow!" Remus yelled, glaring at his son with tear filled eyes "I don't want you in here for this! Get the fuck out!"

Shadow jumped and skittered out of the door, noting with a sour expression that he had been the only one kicked out. _Papa has potion experience_; a small voice in the back of his mind reminded him. _If something goes wrong…he can be there to fix it. Still…_Shadow pulled out one of Fred and George's new prank prototypes, an Extendable Ear, and smirked. _Mama said he didn't want me in there. Didn't say anything about not listening in._ He carefully snaked the object underneath the door and listened.

Back in the wing, Madam Pomfrey began to explain. "The fact that there is no liquid whatsoever means that they need to get out as soon as possible. If not, complications can and will arise." She stared into Remus' swimming blue eyes imploringly. "Remus, I know you wanted to do this naturally, however that doesn't seem to be an option anymore. My recommendation now is a Cesarean section."

"Absolutely not!" Remus covered his abdomen with his arms, as if shielding it from Poppy. "I refuse to be cut open!" One hand strayed from his stomach to lightly touch at the scars marring his face. "That has happened enough in my life."

"Remus, you don't seem to understand." Poppy was trying her hardest to remain professional, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. "Your children could die!"

"I did it naturally with Shadow, I can do it with them!"

"Remus, for Merlin's sake you aren't twenty years old anymore!" Sirius finally spoke up, slamming his hand on the bedside that was beside him. "This pregnancy has been hard on you, a lot harder than when you were pregnant with Shadow sixteen bloody years ago! Dammit, they're my children too!"

Remus balked at Sirius' words and finally agreed, though with extreme reluctance. "Severus, please grab me the special anesthetic potion from my cabinet." Poppy instructed as she began to rearrange Remus into the appropriate position. She ran a soothing hand through the shaking blonde's hair. "Remus, I promise you, you won't feel anything. Everything will be fine."

Severus returned and passed the potion to Remus. "Before you ask, yes, I have adjusted it particularly for lycans. It will work." Remus took the potion and downed it quickly, grimacing at the taste. He squeezed Severus' hand tightly in appreciation.

Sirius noticed the minute exchange and his eyes flashed. He stood at the head of the bed, possessively, and carded his hands through Remus' hair. "It's going to be fine, love. I know it. It'll all be fine and soon our little boy and little girl will be here." Sirius lowered his head and kissed his husband's brow.

"Alright Remus, I'm going to apply some pressure on you." Poppy, donned in Healer garb, informed him. "I need you to tell me if you can feel it or not. I need to gauge whether or not the anesthesia has kicked in."

"Okay," the voice that responded to her was quiet and shaky. Poppy pressed down on his legs and applied gentle pressure to his swollen abdomen. Each time Remus informed her that he could not feel anything.

Poppy nodded once solemnly and grabbed her wand. She covered Remus' lower body, for decency, with a sheet and conjured a partition that blocked Remus from being able to see her cutting into him. Immediately following that, she banished the hospital gown Remus had been wearing a moment ago. "Okay, Remus, I'm going to begin now." With that, after hearing a frightened sounding squeak from the man in question, Poppy gently drew her wand across his stomach, using a surgical version of the common cutting charm.

After Poppy eased the blood flow, she made quick work of removing the twins. She had two sterile hospital cribs ready and nearby and Severus would be in charge of checking the infants' vitals and cleaning them up. She noticed as she was pulling the first twin out that the placenta had already begun to deteriorate, which explained the lack of amniotic fluid. She passed the first twin off to Severus to be cleaned. Sirius stood diligently by Remus' head, offering words of encouragement and a non-gory play-by-play of what was happening.

"Remus…one of them is out. It's…it's our little girl. Our daughter is here!" Poppy glanced up briefly and peeked behind the partition that covered her patient. She saw the two parents had tears in their eyes and Sirius cupped Remus' cheek as he kissed him from above. Remus began crying when the baby's first cries were heard.

Once she was sure that Severus was finished cleaning the girl, Poppy quickly pulled out the youngest Lupin-Black child. Her heart lurched when she noticed the difference in size between the two. It wasn't uncommon for one twin to be larger than another, however the new boy was runt-like compared to his sister, or even when compared to Shadow when he had been born. She nevertheless handed the squirming child to Severus and began to close Remus' incision.

When all was complete, there were two perfectly healthy babies, crying their lungs out beside their parents. Sirius, like Poppy, noticed the size difference. Their daughter weighed eight and a half pounds, whereas their son weighed only five and a half. He wasn't concerned by the weight difference, as Poppy had given them both a clean bill of health.

Sirius, technically a new father, peered into the cribs. He noticed that their little girl had his dark hair and that their littlest son had Remus' blonde hair. In both of them though he saw a perfect mixture of himself and Remus. It was unsure as of yet what eye color each would have.

"We should have Shadow-boy come in, yeah?" Sirius asked Remus, pecking him on the temple.

Remus didn't hear Sirius' question, as he was too busy intently staring at their son. _He's…he's so tiny…_ Remus thought. _He's a runt_. A voice growled in the back of Remus' mind. _He won't last._

Remus shook his head violently, trying to get Moony's words out of his mind. However they still rang constantly in his ears. _Runt. Runt. Runt. _

"Remus?" the man jolted as he heard his name called. "Don't you want Shadow to come back in?" Sirius looked at him with concern. "Are you alright?" He reached out to caress the other man's cheek.

"Fine," Remus said impatiently, swatting away Sirius' hand. "I'm still a little tired from the anesthesia. But yes, let's bring Shadow back in."

Shadow sat in the hallway, long abandoning listening in on the whole process. He checked his watch for the umpteenth time when the door opened to reveal a slightly perturbed looking Sirius. Shadow stood back up immediately. "Well?" He questioned eagerly.

This caused Sirius to laugh, forgetting his sour mood. "Everything is perfect. Why don't you come in and meet your brother and sister?"

Shadow rushed back inside quickly. He gave Remus a gentle hug and kiss on the cheek before taking a seat on the foot of the bed. He peered into the two cribs and smiled at his siblings, giving each a finger to grasp onto. "So, can I finally know their names?"

Remus and Sirius smiled softly at each other. Remus reached into one crib and held their daughter close while Sirius did the same with their son. "This," Remus spoke softly. "Is your baby sister, Sidra Regina Lupin-Black."

"And this," Sirius breathed out. "Is your baby brother, Solaris Regulus Lupin-Black."

Shadow laughed softly, causing his parents to look at him with dual confused expressions. "I see you two decided on a naming theme."

Remus shook his head bemused whereas Sirius pouted. "I didn't think he'd notice that quick," Sirius sulked.

"He has my brains, puppy." Remus chuckled. "Of course he would."

"I don't really mind," Sirius whispered, placing Solaris back into his temporary crib. "I'm the happiest man on Earth right now." He took Sidra from Remus and gently placed her into her crib as well. "I have my star," he kissed Sidra's forehead. "My sun," he then kissed Solaris. "And the two of you," Sirius sat between Shadow and Remus on the bed and pulled them both close, pecking each of them on their temples. "Are my moon."

"How does that work, Dad?"

"Simple, kiddo. You're just the dark side of the moon. Because you're just like your Mama, but you get your dark side from me!"

**A/N: Hooray! Twins! Also if you are curious about the name meanings, they're below. I hope you liked it! This is a little bit longer than my usual chapters. As always, review! It helps me get my creative flow going!**

**Sidra: Star Born**

**Regina: Queen**

**Solaris: Of the sun**

**Regulus: Named after Sirius' brother, which I could not find a meaning for.**

**Also, if you don't like the names, I'm sorry. It's my story, so I get to pick them. Also I like them. Plus, chances are they won't be going by their real names. I'm thinking of having Sidra go by either Gina or Sid and Solaris go by Reg or Reggie.**

**Luv,**

**GoM**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

The weeks leading up to the winter holidays passed by in a chaotic blur for Shadow. His days became a jumbled mess of classes, homework, Quidditch practice, along with DA lessons (they had decided to call their group Dumbledore's Army, as proof they sided with Dumbledore and the light). Besides his school and extracurricular obligations, he had to juggle his social life (which seemed to be diminishing greatly) and his family.

Shadow had, temporarily, moved back into the Lupin-Black quarters after the birth of Gina and Reggie. Shadow had decided on the nicknames and they had stuck quickly; his parents picked out good names that fit with their desired naming theme, however he didn't think Sidra or Solaris were names for a baby. He helped his parents wherever he had a rare off day, in order to give Remus, who was on paternity leave, a break. During this time, he had noticed Remus exhibiting some abnormal behaviors.

It was on the Tuesday before winter holidays began that Shadow had started to get truly suspicious and concerned.

He had just walked in and had barely set his school bag in his room when Remus quickly passed him Reggie and a bottle filled with formula. "You feed him." Remus' voice seemed strangely detached.

The odd thing about this was, Shadow had passed Remus and Reggie in the kitchen, Remus had been getting the bottle ready and looked as though he was about to feed the baby himself. Shadow also noticed the silence in the quarters; if Gina had also needed attention, then he could understand why Remus handed Reggie to him. But Gina wasn't crying. Gina was lying contently in her bassinette, sucking on a pacifier.

That is, she was lying contently, until Remus went over and picked her up, cradling and cuddling her close to him. Shadow had heard Reggie start to whimper softly and so quickly sat in an arm chair in the living room and started to feed him, all the while observing Remus. "Who's my little star?" Remus crooned softly as he sat down on the couch, gently bouncing Gina. Shadow narrowed his eyes slightly. He always saw Sirius and even Severus calling Gina "little star" but they also always called Reggie "little sun." But he couldn't recall Remus using the same term with Reggie.

"Our precious girl." Remus bowed his head and kissed her softly on the forehead. He murmured softly, "And so lucky you are; you'll have your daddy and your big brother to protect you."

"Reggie can protect her when he's older too," Shadow told the man, adjusting his baby brother to his shoulder so he could burp him.

Remus made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat and turned his attention back to Gina. That noise had Shadow furrowing his brow. "When you're done feeding him, put him in his bassinette, and give him a pacifier." Remus told him without looking away from the baby in his lap.

Shadow scowled and continued to pat and rub Reggie's back. That was something else the teen had noticed; Remus never said Reggie's name or used any term of endearment with him. It was always "him," "he," or "his". After getting a small burp from Reggie, Shadow kissed his temple and stood carefully. He walked over to Reggie's bassinette and gently placed him inside, eliciting a soft coo from the baby.

Shadow smiled endearingly and ran a finger over his soft cheek. _Maybe having a kid of my own wouldn't be so bad_, he thought to himself as he gave a sleepy looking Reggie his pacifier and gave him a final kiss on the head. His eyes flicked to Remus. _Then again…it can really mess with your head too…_

"Mum," Shortly after the twins were born, Shadow had started calling Remus mum as opposed to mama. He wasn't sure if the man noticed the switch, but he didn't seem to mind it. Remus glanced up at and smiled. "I'm going into my room to do some homework. Let me know if you need any help." Remus simply nodded and Shadow turned and went into his room.

Once Sirius returned from covering Remus' History of Magic classes, Shadow watched carefully from his room to see if Sirius suspected anything odd about Remus' behavior. From the looks if it, he was the only one who thought Remus wasn't acting normal. As the day progressed he noticed that the occasions in which Remus had physical contact with Reggie were very minimal. In fact, by the time dinner had rolled around, Shadow had only seen Remus hold Reggie once; and that was because he had started fussing while Sirius was already changing Gina's nappy.

While in his room, he had been doing research, but not on anything homework, along with occasionally watching out in the living room. Scattered around him on his bed were books from the library about magical creatures. Each of these books was opened to the same section: Werewolves. He had checked the books out when he first noticed his mum's change and hoped to find something in them that might explain these odd behaviors.

So far, though, his efforts were in vain. All of these books seemed to have pre-dated the overturn of the Werewolf Anti-Breeding Law. As such, there was nothing in them about how pregnancy and birth might affect an aging werewolf.

The teen sighed and leaned back against his pillows, arms behind his head. He was truly at a loss. He had no idea what might be causing this to happen with his usually warm, nurturing, and loving maternal parent. _Maybe I'm overthinking this…_ With that thought in mind, Shadow closed his mind and inhaled deeply.

Through his Occlumency lessons, he had learned to shield his mind. An unexpected side effect came with how quickly he had advanced through this difficult realm of magic. Through pulling up his mental shields and going into a deep meditative state, Shadow was able to merge into his other mind; the mind of Shadowpaw.

Shadow felt in his mind when he had crossed into the separate yet same mind of Shadowpaw. As he was in a deep meditative state, he was able to traverse the mental plane as though it were the physical world. As such, when he opened his eyes (though in reality they remained closed) he saw that he was sitting across from a large, pure black werewolf.

They appeared to be in a clearing in the Forbidden Forest, though in reality Shadow was still sitting on his bed. This was all, in essence, a very lucid dream. Shadow regarded his werewolf form with a respectful nod, receiving the same in return. He had only entered Shadowpaw's mind once before, and it had been on accident. This was when he discovered he could do this in the first place.

_"Why are you here?"_ Shadow heard Shadowpaw's voice through his own mind. As the werewolf posed this question, he cocked his head to the side.

"I'm here to ask you something." Shadow wasn't sure if Shadowpaw had any idea about the twins, though he was sure he did. But Shadow also knew that most of his instincts lay within Shadowpaw, which included his base animal instincts. So there was a chance.

_"Ask away."_

"Our…eh…mother has given birth recently." Shadow hedged slightly, not entirely sure how he should address his other self.

_"Yes, I'm aware. A litter of two. Male and female." _Shadowpaw sat back on his haunches and lifted his shoulders in a shrug.

"Right, so you know about that."

_"I know what you know." _Shadow wasn't sure how to feel with that statement but shook it off.

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "Anyway…he has been acting strangely lately. He is giving all of his attention to Gina…er the female and completely ignoring Reggie…the male."

_"These are statements, self. Not questions." _Shadowpaw rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Bloody hell, I'm getting to the question." Shadow grumbled. "Be patient…" Shadow swore he heard the wolf snickering. "My question is why is he favoring one over the other?"

Shadowpaw turned his gaze above, where a full moon hung heavily in the sky, illuminating the clearing in a silver light. Shadow stared up as well and felt his breath catch. It had been some time since he had seen a full moon and it didn't cause him to feel a sense of fear and exhaustion. So engulfed by the beauty of the moon, Shadow jerked in surprise when Shadowpaw's words began to float through his mind once more.

_"Through your eyes, I have seen the new cubs. I can tell you why Moony has been behaving differently than you are used to." _Shadowpaw kept his gaze on the moon, the pale light reflected in the icy blue of his eyes.

"Tell me! I want to help mum." Wrenching his eyes away from the moon, Shadow leaned forward eagerly. Shadowpaw finally turned his eyes away from the moon and stared into Shadow's.

_"The reason he is favoring the female is because she is more likely to survive."_ The answer was given nonchalantly, as though the two of them were simply discussing the weather. _"The male is a runt; Moony sees this and as such feels any efforts on the male are wasted."_

Sapphire eyes widened. Sure, Reggie was small, but it was common for one twin to be smaller than the other. Madam Pomfrey had assured each of them of this fact after they had been born. "That can't be true though! Just because one child is smaller than the other doesn't mean it's going to die! If anything it needs more attention! That's how it is for humans!"

It was eerie watching Shadowpaw slowly cock his head to the side. A slow, mocking grin spread across his muzzle, the once beautiful moonlight was now casting hideous shadows over this expression. The wolf looked insane and Shadow saw what this part of him could be capable of. _"How it is for humans, you say? Yes…but you aren't human, are you?"_ He bared his teeth, making him look even more deranged.

As Shadow was about to respond, he felt a sudden jarring sensation as he was pulled out of his meditation. He wrenched his eyes open and was face to face with Sirius. "Sorry to wake you up, kiddo. I know how busy you've been recently, but dinner is ready." Sirius clapped him on the shoulder and gripped it gently before heading to the dining area.

"Yeah…dinner…right…" Shadow shook his head slowly, trying to shake the last image of his other self. His last question still rang through his mind; taunting him…_You aren't human, are you?_

"Yes, I am." He told himself firmly. _I just have a…furry little problem._ "I'm human." He wasn't sure at that point if he was convincing himself or the snickering voice in the back of his mind.

Sighing heavily, he allowed his feet to carry him toward the dining room. Remus and Sirius were chatting easily with one another; Remus was curious about how his class was going and Sirius was simply explaining what had been covered in each class. Shadow took his seat across from Sirius and looked down at his meal.

On his plate was a huge steak, cooked rare, if it could be called cooked at all. His mouth watered at the smell and sight of it. And it felt as though his canine teeth were just itching to tear into the meat. _You aren't human_.

He stood abruptly, causing the conversation to die instantly. "What's wrong, cub?" Remus cocked his head to the side, an action that was all too familiar to Shadow at the moment. "Is it overcooked or something?"

It felt like he was choking on the scent of the meat. "Salad." He managed to choke out. "I'm going to make myself a salad for dinner." Shadow rushed to the magically powered refrigerator and began pulling out lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, and other vegetables to put in his salad.

"A salad? Shadow, are you kidding me?" Sirius was leaning back in his chair, arm slung over the back of it as he watched the fifteen year old rush around the kitchen. "I didn't order this steak from the kitchens, you know? I cooked these steaks myself, so sit down and eat your dinner."

Unsure of what to do, Shadow stood in the kitchen looking like a deer caught in headlights. Remus and Sirius just stared at him patiently with twin looks of confusion on their faces. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Shadow left the kitchen, bringing the salad bowl with him.

"Cub, what has gotten into you all of a sudden?" Remus was baffled by how Shadow was acting. Usually when a steak was placed in front of the teen, it was gone within five minutes. Now that same teenager was looking at that piece of steak as though it were Voldemort himself.

Keeping his eyes trained on the dining room table, Shadow said softly, "I don't want to eat meat anymore. I'm going to become a vegetarian."

"A vegetar—Bloody why?" Sirius was utterly confused. "I have never seen a kid who devours meat like you do! There's no way you'll last, kiddo."

Remus sent an admonishing glance at Sirius before returning his gaze to Shadow, who still refused to look up from the table. "Why do you want to become a vegetarian?"

"Because," Shadow said, lifting his head and staring right at Remus. "I'm human."

"Of course, you're human, Shadow-boy." Sirius scratched at the side of his head, still not fully understanding Shadow's reasoning. Remus still looked to be at a loss, as well. "But humans eat meat too. We're…what's it called? Omnivores."

Remus reached across the table and grasped Shadow's hand tightly in his own. "That's right." Understanding coated his voice; Shadow was concerned with seeing himself as an animal because of Shadowpaw. "Eating meat doesn't make you an animal. You're human, just like your dad and me."

Dark blue eyes flashed angrily, causing Remus to remove his hand from Shadow's. "Human like you? Are you sure you have the right to say you've been acting like a human?" His words were sharp and he flung them right at Remus, who sat in his seat absolutely stunned into silence.

"Shadow!" Sirius barked out. "I get you're having an identity crisis right now, but that is no way to talk to Remus!"

"No, dad, it is." Setting the salad bowl on the table, Shadow crossed his arms and glared at Remus. "Humans can make decisions based on something other than instinct of survival; emotion, logic, and even choice."

"Of course," Remus nodded, he was using his teacher's voice, the voice he used when he was answering a student's question. "It is what separates us from animals. Our brains are much more equipped for logical thinking."

"Can you tell me, right now, honestly, that you have been making decisions in _all_ aspects of your life right now based on something other than animalistic survival instinct?" Shadow had his palms pressed flat against the table and was fighting to keep his voice down, as he knew that the twins were asleep.

Remus mimicked Shadow's stance and leaned forward, pitching his voice low. "Yes, I have."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Reggie." Shadow watched as that one word seemed to take all of the energy out of Remus. The man sat in his chair, slumped with his hand pressed over his mouth.

"Reggie?" Sirius was still trying to catch up to speed. "What does any of this have to do with Reggie?"

Seeing Remus in such a defeated position, made Shadow instantly regret his words. He looked at Remus sadly, unsure of where to take the conversation now that it had gotten to this point. But he knew one thing, Sirius needed to know what Shadow suspected.

Just as he had opened his mouth to speak, Remus sat up in his chair and cleared his throat. "I believe that Shadow is referring to the fact that I have not been giving…R-Reggie…the same kind of care and attention I have been giving Gina." Shadow was both surprised and impressed that Remus finally used Reggie's name.

Sirius shook his head; the man was confused, in shock, or in denial. "Wh-What do you mean?"

Remus inhaled and then sighed heavily. In that moment, he looked much older than thirty-six. "It's…obvious that Reggie is a lot smaller than Gina…" Sirius nodded, blinking owlishly, waiting for Remus to continue. "When…when they were born…I heard Moony in the back of my mind…He s-said that Reggie was a runt…that he wouldn't survive." Remus had begun sobbing as his actions toward Reggie during his first few weeks of life seemed to finally catch up with him. "Oh, Merlin, what have I done?"

Sirius pulled Remus into a tight hug as the man began crying uncontrollably. "I tr-tried to fight against M-Moony. B-But I c-couldn't shake those w-words. I neglected o-our s-s-son!"

Sirius continued to hold Remus as he cried, whispering soothing words, though in reality he was shocked to hear this. He had to admit to himself that Remus had been acting oddly, but he had just assumed the man was tired. Once Remus had calmed down substantially, Sirius held him away slightly so he could look him in the eye. "Love…you need help, you have been acting differently since you gave birth. I'm not sure that it all has to do with Moony."

Remus, reluctantly, agreed with Sirius. It was decided that they would talk with Severus and see if the Potion's Master might be able to help Remus. That night though, after dinner, Shadow and Sirius found Remus holding Reggie close to him and singing him a lullaby.

**A/N: So a lot of you saw it coming, but still I had to do it. I hope I wrote Remus realistically in this chapter. I have never been pregnant; as such I've never experienced Postpartum Depression. None of my friends who do have children have experienced it either. So if you feel like I should add something for the following chapters, please feel free to let me know in a review or in a private message.**

**I also really liked the internal battle Shadow now seems to be having about what it means to be human. I'm loving the turn this story has taken and can't wait to see where it goes!**

**As always review!**

**Luv,**

**GoM**


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